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March 2, 2020, Monday

     Today is a very special for us.  When I say us, I mean me & my sponsee and all the people she continually helps and inspires.  Today she has thirty years clean in NA recovery and she is held in high esteem by her local fellowship, friends, family and then some.   She was the first to come to me when my mother died, she was the only one that continued to reach out to me with little messages of love and caring after my niece passed away also.

     OK, I sure can’t take any credit for how awesome this lady is, I didn’t make her, God did!  And I didn’t start sponsoring her until she had about five years clean.  She’d had two sponsors before me, one passed away and another moved out of state.  I knew them both, they were great ladies also.   I know she loved them both and she learned a lot from them.  So she was well on her way when I met her.  In the time that I have known her we have both been through deaths, break-ups, divorce, kids, kids growing up and becoming their own persons, by way of trial and error sort to speak.  She has gone through it all with dignity and real feelings. 

     She does not tell everything to everyone, like at meetings.  She may share on some feelings, but not the details that name people. Even in the mist of her own pain, I watched her be ever so careful with other people’s feelings.  I’ve also watched her go through a great deal of physical pain, and again, she may say she’s hurting in a woman’s meeting, but keep most of the details between herself, me- her sponsor and a couple of close friends. 

     I tell you all this so as to set an example of what an awesome, loving, caring, giving mature woman in recovery looks and acts like.  But the way, my beautiful friend has an old soul, a hippie soul, she is as free unto herself and as colorful and content as this world allows!  She is amazing and adored by many.  I am honored and privileged to sponsor her, to know her, to be a part of her recovery and life and to call her friend.  I’ve watched her with her sons as they were growing up and she was always open and honest with them and always gave them the benefit of the doubt.  They have grown into incredible kind, loving men who are responsible adults and never forget their mother.   To me, this is what they mean by the old saying, “the proof is in the pudding”.  I say that in regards to the kind of mother she has been, the proof is in the lives of her sons. 

     Yesterday my sister had 39 years clean and in recovery, you don’t even know what an incredible miracle she is.  I am in awe of her as well, she has helped many other people and is a source of inspiration to all that know her, especially me.  I know where she came from and I know what it took for her to get clean and stay clean.  I am hesitant to tell other people’s stories, except for the fact that the struggles and pain is real as are the joys and accomplishments, of which she has many.  She lost her oldest daughter, my beautiful niece to lymphoma in 2000.  It was horrible, I miss her every day, we were very close, only four years apart, more like sisters than auntie and niece.  My sister has been through many many trials and still, she speaks encouragement and love to everyone.  I am so proud of her and all her accomplishments.

     I also wanted to touch on the party I went to last Friday.  My son-in-law’s 50^th birthday party! Wow!  What? 50?  My son-in-law, no way!  He is not a person in recovery and it’s certainly not my call to make, but I will say this.  He has proven to be a loyal and faithful husband to my daughter and a loving and caring father to my grandchildren.  He is a hard worker and great provider, their home is much grander than ours, that’s for sure. He has a moral compass that directs their children in living as good and responsible people.  I have come to care for him a great deal, approving of how he handles things with himself and his family.  Not that my approval is needed, but he has it nonetheless. 

    I tell you about these three-special people in my life who are all celebrating milestones in their lives right now, not just to brag on them, which is easy, but to set a tone of what can be accomplished.   No one ever has it easy all the time, not for periods of thirty or fifty years at a time.  Each of them has been through loss, pain, fears and disappointments. Each has had good reasons to walk away, to hang it up, to quit and run away.  But they don’t!  This is proof, that if you weather the storm, it will pass.  Proof that if you let go and let God, it will get better.  Proof that if you stay on the good path you have chosen to the best of your ability, you will always find a way out of the darkness.  As they say, there is always at least just enough light, however dim, to stay on the right path.  Don’t give up is the moral of this story today.   We have so many great examples all around us.  If you think you don’t really know any, start seeking them out.  Make it your goal to find them, to honor them, to talk to them and learn from them.  Hint: That’s what sponsorship and mentoring is all about.  

     I hope you have found encouragement and understanding of perseverance in this piece today. And to be sure, these two, as well as any person who survives the storms and has a support group around them that they have taken the time to seek out, build and nurture are the most likely to succeed and stay on their true paths.   There are many of you that do not have family you can count on, so start seeking healthy friendships and support elsewhere.  Again, twelve step programs can be a great source of finding the support, love & acceptance you may need.  Just be picky and be careful, not everyone there is healthy yet.  You may have to be someone else’s source of strength at times, it’s a give and take program. I hope that whatever you are going through, no matter how scary, bleak or dismal, you can see that faint glow of light on the path that leads you onward and upward to your ultimate goal.  A life well lived, in the direction that you desire.  God bless you all.  

Questions of the week:   Are you on your true path?  No matter how wobbly at times, no matter how dim the light grows?

Do you know of anyone you can reach out to that has “been there” and can help to guide and encourage you on your path by sharing their experience, strength and hope?

Finally, if you have “been there” and staying on your path, are you mentoring, sponsoring or encouraging others?  If not, look for ways to share your own experience, strength and hope.  The world needs you!