Blog

Memories:

     Another week of quarantine has gone by and I don’t know about you, but my psyche has taken another shift.  I always have memories that come to me, different ones from all different times of my life.  Places we’ve gone, people I love that are gone, either moved on or passed away.  Moments of being at my job I retired from and the co-workers I’ve had over the years.  The NA functions, picnics, conventions, holiday parties and the women I’ve sponsored and the men my husband has sponsored who became good friends to us and regular visitors at our home. 

     The Monday night football get togethers, the Super Bowl parties for our clean and sober friends.  The step studies, the mountain getaways to a quaint cabin in the forest with the women that are dearest to me in my recovery. Concerts, movies, dinners, lunches, coffee time and camp-outs and camp fire meetings. 

     That’s just the memories shared with other recovering friends and people in the fellowship. I also have memories of Church friends, functions, parties, holidays, baptism’s, funerals, anniversaries- our church just celebrated 75 years and it was a very big hoopla, lots of old friends came back just for the occasion and we had special speakers and of course, we always eat real good!  I remember our pastor telling us one time that he wanted our church to be known as “the fun church” and it sure is, there is always jumpers and slides and lots of stuff for the kids, we laugh, hug, talk and eat! Lots of good memories there and another church I use to go to.

      The memories of my family gatherings, of births, deaths, holidays, birthdays, graduations, retirements, trips near and far.  So many memories.  I love the more intimate memories, like sitting with my mom in her little trailer and talking about “the good ol days” as she shared her memories. And don’t get me started on the “road trips” with my mom. She would talk a lot about our family and her memories.  

     I liked to think of the memories of sitting on my back deck with sponsees on a nice day with the birds in the trees singing at us as we work a step to further advance their recovery (and mine). Of riding to out of town meetings together and working steps or just talking in depth in the privacy of a car, or… rock’n out to the jams. 

     It was my mom’s birthday two days ago, and I really don’t need her birthday to think of her and miss her, but it does bring up a lot of memories of special parties we had for her.  Every great once in a while her birthday fell on Easter and my family use to meet up at a big park that is in the middle for us all to travel to for a big family Easter picnic, great memories. Man, I miss my mom.

     So, here we are sitting around, lots of time to think and reminisce.  I don’t know about you, but I have tons of pictures and I need to go through them all.  Everyone always teased me about taking so many pictures, but I didn’t care.  First of all, I love photography, it’s a little hobby for me and taking pictures is what I do.  My two favorite subjects to take pictures of is nature and family, especially the kids, the babies. J  Watching them grow up through a lens.  I love it. 

    Most of us have plenty of extra time on our hands these days and my memories, pictures, even magnets are a great source of memories.  I have other little do dads, like the Statue of Liberty, pot holders, incense burners and the such from various places. I get flashes of these places and occasions and the people I have been blessed to share them with.  Maybe I can’t get up and go anywhere in the physical sense, except the dump- lol!  But I can think and remember and use my memories to go back and re-visit.  I even picture airports, planes, little hotel rooms, lots of cool memories.  Yes, there’s some that make me sad too, but the fact is, it’s my memory and I own it, I pray to never ever get a disease that takes my memories from me.  I have a sister with dementia and it scares me, as long as I’m alive I pray to always have my wits about me and my memories.  It’s so painful to watch my beautiful sister like that.  We traveled to England and Ireland together and only she and I know all about our trip.  But I can’t talk to her about it anymore, that breaks my heart so much.  She is the best sister ever.

     See there, just sitting here talking about memories I go into some.   I’m grateful for the time we had together on our special trips.  If it were not for my recovery, I could not have made those special trips.  Oh yes, I have memories of life before recovery but after 35 years clean, I have more memories of life clean and in recovery, what a blessing that is!  

     I know that this quarantine sucks for everyone and certainly the fear and pain that is gripping our country and world with the virus, yet, even now, we are making memories of it.  Of the sadness of so many people dying, of the pride of so many health care professionals helping to save lives and of the entertainers trying to lift our spirits through this time. So far, I’d have to say that the zoom meetings will probably be my favorite memory from this quarantined time!  That is where I connect to other recovering addicts and friends.  Thank-goodness for zoom and face time and all that.

     I do see blessings all around us, people helping and giving and doing their best, one day at a time.  And don’t tell anybody, but right now, I’m grateful for Fortnite! Lol, that is my grandson’s only source of interaction with his friends and it keeps him busy while I write.  lol.  He will also be one of my biggest memories from this quarantine time, doing home schooling and trying to keep him busy and healthy is a challenge, but I’m grateful that we have all the tools necessary to do that.  He helped me plant grass and plants last week-end and that was a memory building project.

     Memories are so important; we must remember the bad times and even our using days and the turmoil and insanity of it all, lest we are doomed to repeat it.  We must remember how we got through the hard times, whether it be because of money, relationships, illness and anxieties of all sorts. And we must remember the people that paved the way and worked to help keep us healthy and sane. I had the honor of attending a Zoom meeting Saturday of several of the people that started NA and were here in the beginning, it was very inspiring and uplifting to hear from them. Remembering the people that have helped us also includes our sponsors, predecessors, health care workers and yes even the farmers and grocery store clerks and gas station attendants.  All of them.  Remember the friends that are sticking by you and helping you to get through this difficult time in world history. 

     In my morning journal every day I pray for the people in my home to all be kind, loving and helpful to each other.  I pray we come out of this with fond memories of each other, how brave and caring we were.  

     Well, I have a ton of memories and I could write for days of my memories.  I am just saying that right now, in quarantine, I am using my memories to remind me that there is life out there and we’ve had some pretty good times and will again, someday, I hope in the not too far off future.

Please stay well, stay home and take care of your peeps, God Bless and just remember to love one another.

Question of the week:  First, what memories do you have that can lift you up?  Second, either good or bad what memories might you come out of this historical quarantine with?