I know, it should be obvious, it should go without saying, especially if you’re working a program. We should just automatically surrender. But I beg to differ, if you are a person working a program, then you know that surrendering does not come easy for us, especially at first. And if you are still struggling with your addiction, then you know all too well that surrender is almost impossible.
What brings up this topic right now? Well, first, as I mentioned last week, our sweet boy is visiting his other grandma and I want him home! I miss him so so much. But, we have an end date and he would like to see it through. Next, my son, man I wish I could control him, but not really. I just can’t handle his using anymore. I am in a low tolerance phase with him. I have no control. Of which, my husband just reminded me that he told me that when my son was 15 years old! I remember sitting down, numb and thought, wow! This is true. I didn’t like it.
Next, tomorrow is voting day, and it should be the biggest election ever, of all time. The only control we do have is we can vote. Then, it’s all about surrender. Yes, we can work to change things, but it’ll take a lot of time. So, surrender for the day would be in order.
I have a hard time controlling my weight, sometimes my attitude, keeping my house clean and doing all the things I need to do and want to do. So…? What’s new? Who don’t? What’s the solution? Yep, that’s right, surrender. I need to choose my battles and keep some sanity in my world. I can’t fight the world, even if they don’t vote my way tomorrow.
All I can do, all any of us can do is take care of our own selves and even with that, I need help. I need God first and foremost, I need my husband, my family, my friends, my sponsor. I try to seek out and listen to others, especially of those who have been through whatever issue I am dealing with at the time. I seek out people who I respect their opinion, which is what I’ve done this week regarding our little boy being away on his visit.
All I know about control is, that when I try to control the situation and the outcome and it doesn’t go my way, I am all screwed up. Heaven forbid I’m trying to control a person, i.e., my son, this will do me in quicker than anything. There is no way to control a practicing addict. But I can control my own environment. I am not entirely helpless, and neither are you. I can set my boundaries and keep my own space drug free and drama free. Surrender to win as the saying goes, not surrender to sit down, and let others roll over on you. We do have control of our own environment and our own selves.
Whatever it is you want control of, surrender it and it will come to you. I still feel there is power in powerlessness. When I give it up to God, everything somehow seems to work out. There is so much going on in our world right now, if I dwell on all that’s wrong, I will nut up. It’s so much easier to give it to God and leave it there. I surrender. I will indeed do my part: I will vote, I will watch what I eat and exercise, I will clean up my house, I will love my friends and family. I will take care of what God has laid on me to the best of my ability.
Question of the Week: Are you trying to take control over something you have no control over? Are you ready to surrender? How hard is it, or isn’t it for you to surrender?
