January 18, 2021.
Net Worth!
There is a great line in the Living Clean, the Journey Continues book that is part of the Narcotics Anonymous literature. “Net worth does not equal Self-worth”. I love that! I don’t know about ya’ll, but I need to be reminded of that once in a while. Again, my greatest character defect is comparing: my insides to your outside, my house to your house, my addict kids to your awesome, successful kids! My car, my clothes, my look, my walk, my talk, my attitude, talents, skills, motivation, body, hair, jobs, bank account, and on and on it goes.
I don’t really compare all that much anymore just mostly the house thing. I’ve worked with people who make same money as I do and they seem to live in big, beautiful modern homes and here I sit in my old house in the hood, (debt free) Lol. And guess what? I am grateful for my home and try to take care of it. I am content, God did that for me.
It doesn’t matter what the thing is I’m comparing, the point is, I’m me, you are you and we all need to be where we are most comfortable, living life on life’s terms while taking good care of ourselves, physically, mentally and emotionally.
As per my blog last week, we are scheduled for a vaccine this week, thank you Lord! And we took the Covid test and it came back negative, again, thank-you Lord. This is also self-care because I know we are worthy. Being quarantined has been about self-care and knowing my worth as a human being and not letting my addict son or anyone else invade our sanctuary so that they can have their own needs met at the cost of our possible lives! Uh no!
Taking good care of ourselves and our recovery, one day at time and staying clean is the best that we can hope for. But that opens the door to a multitude of hopes, dreams and accomplishments. It’s up to us. And that begins with taking the best care of ourselves that we are sincerely able to.
The last couple of days we’ve been out about in the fresh air and sunshine, we’re having Spring like weather here, (in the middle of winter) it’s been beautiful out. We’ve let the boy ride his dirt bike, stopped by another grandson’s baseball game, drove all over the country side and had some awesome views. Just being outside helps lift our spirts. I love to be in nature.
All that to say, bottom line, we must tend to ourselves, to our own self-worth. None of that took much money. Just a little gas and stopped for hamburgers on our travels. Life was good, if even for an afternoon. But in all reality, thanks to God and 12 steps, a recovery program, life is so much more worth while than it was before recovery. Oh, soooo much more!
With all that said about how I compare myself and think I don’t measure up in different ways, at different times, the fact is, as a child of God, as a person in recovery, I am very worthy. God has been so good to me. Because of the twelve steps I have delved deep into me. Into my life, my inner being, my feelings and where I’ve been, what happened, where I’m going and how to get there with as much self-respect, class and loving attitude as possible.
My self-worth is not contingent on the house I live in, or don’t live in. The car I drive, my weight, my looks, none of that. My self-worth is contingent on me, me being me. Being real, being honest and loving to others. Being of service to others is a huge self-worth builder for anyone. Giving back and sharing deepens my own self-worth.
It seems when I treat others with respect and love, I feel it come back to me. That’s cool how that works, although it is not the only motivation for being of service or helping others, it’s just about being a helper. I think it’s more about sincerity. Which is something I have noted as being quite
important for people wanting to truly get and stay clean. Addicts seeking a real change in their lives have that kind of sincerity, even if they are scared to death of quitting using and finding a new way to live. We all know, that’s not easy, it’s a big jump, but if that sincerity is within them, then the journey begins.
When the journey of recovery begins, so does the journey of self-worth building. A life worth living begins. I hope you are on this journey with us and I pray that you are finding out that you are of great worth! To God, to your family, friends, community and most of all, to yourself.
If you are not feeling your worth, ask God to show you. Then try giving it away, getting out of yourself and helping others. Try honesty and also giving love and respect, especially to those who need it the most, like a child or a newcomer. You could give them money, but time, attention and hug can go a lot further, it’ll make them feel worthy – of you.
I don’t know about my “net-worth”, it isn’t much, but my “self-worth” has been building and building these past 35.9 years! NA and God have taken me out of the gutter and turned me into someone that I’m cool to live with, me!
Question of the week: How’s your self-worth doing? Need to try being of service to others or do you already have that cornered?