Blog for March 15th
Generous Spirit
During this last week, the topic of generosity kept coming to me in various ways. And considering today is my daughter’s birthday and I have good reason to be generous today, this is a perfect topic for this time. The government has been quite generous to many people already with the infamous stimulus checks that people are receiving as I speak. Generosity is all around us.
There are people, organizations and governments giving out all kinds of help and relief. However, this last week I was reading in the NA literature called “Living Clean, the journey continues”. I do this as a study once a week with some of my sponsees. Anyway, we have started Chapter 7, and on page 222 it mentions the generous spirit saying that generous spirit stops loneliness and alienation. This caught my attention; I think because after a year of being alienated from our people loneliness and depression was seeping in. So, I went a bit more in-depth with the topic.
Sometimes I worry about “spoiling” my grandson (the one I am raising), because I have met spoiled children and they are never pleasant to be around. Then they grow up to be entitled adults, of whom are dreadful to be around. So, there is a balance. I want to give to him, but I do not want to spoil him with “stuff” or permissiveness to the point he thinks he can do whatever he wants.
However, what I have found through this topic is that generosity of spirit is not the giving of “stuff” and letting children run amuck. It’s not just throwing money at a problem and thinking we have done something wonderful. Even though that does help in certain times. But what my grandson, my family and friends need, what we all need is to be giving of our time, attention, love and care.
That kind of “spoiling” should be done to every child, to everyone ever. I hope that you all are getting spoiled at some level in your lives or you have been spoiled like that from someone, somewhere. Moreover, I hope you are a person of generous spirit. They say what you give out will come back to you. “You reap what you sow” as the scripture says. Still, if you are giving just to see what you can get out of it, then you’re not “giving” at all, you are “expecting”. We should give because our hearts lead us to help or assist another human being. It is better to give than to receive.
Sometimes, all my grandson needs, actually, what he needs the most, is to be lifted up, encouraged, guided in decisions and life. Not a big chocolate bunny (don’t worry he’ll get one) or a new toy or another video game, what he needs is a hug, time spent talking to us about what he is feeling or thinking. This is what all of us need, to have someone who truly cares. We all need someone who is generous to us with their time, love and caring. Often, this is what we call a “sponsor” in the 12 step programs.
We can do this at some level with everyone, people in general. Like smiling at someone as they walk by. I know that’s not easy with our masks on, but some people say that they see the smile in the eyes. A wave, a nod, a kindness of some sort, like letting them go ahead of you in line, or traffic. Helping a mama with some kids get her stuff up on the counter at the check- out line, or help with the basket out the door. Perhaps helping an elderly person, a little kid, anyone we see struggling with something.
One of my favorite ways to show generosity is with time and an attentive ear and a big ol hug. I love working steps with my sponsees, or just meeting them for coffee or a walk & a talk. I love sitting with my daughter just talking. Or my husband, son, grandkids, friends, you know, my people. I also like to talk with newcomers and get to know them and let them know that there is hope.
We can also be generous with our forgiveness. Not always the easiest, but it holds tons of gifts for the forgiver as well as the forgiven. Be generous with laughter too, I think of my friend Monica and her infectious laugh, she brings a lot of joy into a room when she walks in, she is a very generous with her laughter, I love it.
Be generous with your knowledge. If you know something that could help another person, tell them about it in a non-threatening, non-pushy kind of way. This is how we help newcomers, by sharing our experience, strength and hope at a meeting and even more so when they ask you directly. If you are a newcomer, do not hesitate to ask someone you admire for their recovery to share their experience, strength and hope with you. This is what helps keep them clean too, they love to share about it.
I have learned about generosity a lot since I’ve been clean, mostly from my Higher Power, He first loved me and continues to bless me with incredible gifts. Like all the ones I’ve mentioned on here: Love, Forgiveness, Time, Kindness, Caring and even material things and money. We call that “party bonuses”! The generosity of others is what has kept me afloat, people in recovery freely giving away what they have. I believe it’s what keeps the world afloat.
I found a quote from Yvette Stupart, she said, “A generous heart is anchored in the love of God. He puts His love into our hearts so we can be truly generous, it’s a lifestyle”. Rom 5:5 & 2 Corth. 9:6-8. Which proves that I do not come by that kind of generosity naturally, I have to ask God to give it to me, so I will freely share with others, in whatever way necessary. Do unto to others as the scripture says.
I think about the story, The Christmas Carol and how poor ol Scrooge was so stingy and mean until that Christmas Eve night when the three ghosts visited him and helped him clearly see how being so stingy was ruining his life, not helping him or others. And all the money in the world would not save him from a sad and dreadful grave. If Scrooge can “get it”, then anyone can!
Ways to be generous also include watching for the opportunities to do so, especially at home. As the saying says, “let it begin with me”. This is a program cliché and should be taken to heart. I know we can only do so much in this world, but if I take care with what’s right in front of me, the people and the things God lays right before me, then I can help this world by taking care of my part of it.
Be sure to teach this generosity to your sponsees, your children, your friends and family. Most people are so afraid to let go of what they consider theirs they have forgotten how to give. Lastly, when there is someone being generous with you, with time, money, love, prayers, knowledge, however they are doing it, recognize it. Give thanks and love back to them. This does not mean paying them back for a kindness they did you. I read another mediation a few days ago when a lady talked about someone who was always so kind to her and at first she felt like she had to reciprocate, but the friend told her “it brings me so much joy to give to you and bless you, if you try to pay me back, that takes all the fun out of giving to you. Let me have fun too.” Wow!
So, it’s not about what we can get out of it, or paying it back, it’s as simple as just having a generous spirit.
Question of the Week: Are you a generous person? How so?
Wow, generosity of spirit… I have been lacking in this department I feel sometimes I get neglectful. I love that I get spoiled with knowledge. When I sit with people who are my age or above they share their wealth be it in sayings, or knowledge. That passing of a gift so free but so full of richness. Seeing and talking with someone who has been through some things and can advise a better way of doing something. Its priceless. You have given so much in that regard. You make it a habit to every week give you knowledge and experience in this blog and in our meeting on Thursday. Thank you so much.
I can’t really know what’s in your mind and spirit, but you have never struck me as a person lacking in generosity of spirit. I think sometimes, we all have to recoil into ourselves, with just us and our HP and get renewed again. When we rest, we get new strength. Thank-you for all your kind and generous words!