Blog for Oct. 18th 2021
It was a fairly mellow, uneventful week, except for one thing. I have been listening to a young woman that is in recovery talk about how she’s been trying to get a job where I use to work, but keeps hitting a brick wall due to issues from her active addiction.
I had told her that I would go with her and be a support to talk to the head honcho. And so, we prayed up and went last Thursday. She was so courageous and strong. It was very scary and difficult thing for her and yet, she did it. Emotional and fed up with the situation she was crying and defending herself all at the same time.
The Honcho, who had also been my boss, and kind of still is, said that perhaps I shouldn’t be in there, but she insisted, she said she needed me for support. I felt very awkward about it all. And bottom line, all I said the whole time was that for the past four years or so, (her clean time) she has been doing very well, she’s a good mom and loves her job.
Long story short, he called her the next day and said yes, they’d be honored to have her work for them. As he told her during the meeting, the fact that she showed up to talk to him in person to speak her mind and defend herself speaks volumes in and of itself. I agree. He reiterated that when he called her to tell her they’d be honored to have her work for them.
This time, it was a success story, but I know of many recovering addicts who cannot get a job because of their past, their addiction and the problems it may have caused in their lives before getting clean. My son was let go from a couple of good jobs after he had started and worked a week or two. His record caught up with him. As it has for many addicts.
But we don’t live that way anymore and we have nothing to hide nor nothing to be ashamed of. Yes, we’ve made mistakes and have fallen short too many times to count. But thanks to my Higher Power and the twelve steps, I can be honest about myself, look people in the eye and hold my head up. Although I can, sometimes I still feel less than around normal people who are in good positions and whom are upstanding citizens. At least it’s not all the time, but I do have my moments.
But what is important is being honest, truthful and also acknowledging our worth. Standing up for ourselves in our jobs, careers, relationships and life in general is not always easy, but doing it can reap great rewards. With that said, I have an appointment with my boss this week, I’m wondering why they cut out some of my work without saying anything first. We’ll see. All I know is, I can look her in the eye and be honest.
As a disclaimer I need to say that I do not go around telling the powers that be all about my recovery, my addiction or every thought I’m thinking, – that’s a set up for disaster. I choose my words and tell what I need to tell in those situations. Be cautious but honest is my suggestion.
I know there are times when we have feared for lives in our active addiction, I know I have on several occasions. It can be very scary to stand up for ourselves. Especially if we have an abuser or a group of people who are out to get us and do us harm. Could be a drug deal gone wrong or we mouthed off to the wrong people. Bars are a famous place to get into a brawl. But there we are, standing up for ourselves! Geeze.
An abused woman has a hard time standing up for herself, she is scared to death. Because she has been beat down and threatened so much. In recovery, this woman may still have a hard time defending herself, even if she is out of that abusive relationship. Her boss or others will still walk all over her, because they can detect her fears and weakness.
I would strongly suggest they get counseling and also attend domestic violence groups. It is not so easy to heal from trauma and deep wounds, but it is possible. I will include a link for more information on domestic violence.
I have also had to stand up for myself (and others) in meetings and committee meetings. I have the right to voice my opinion if I see something that is out of order and not benefiting the greater good. I have a right to protect myself and stand up for my beliefs. I need to draw on my Higher Powers strength and guidance in such times, and He always gives it to me when I need it the most.
Question of the Week: Have you ever had to stand up for yourself in recovery? At your job or anywhere? How did it feel?
National Domestic Violence Hotline1-800-799-7233
http://www.thehotline.org
thehotline.org
