Blog for May 2nd, 2022
You know how there are times in life that you have to continue to be around people who rub you the wrong way? Like say, at work? At meetings? Maybe even family gatherings. People who are friends of your spouse and them or their spouse just gets on your last nerve? Yep, you know what I mean, get a mental picture of that person or persons.
Picture how they just seem to keep annoying you and irritating you like a constant dripping faucet. You work hard to be nice, keep your mouth shut to keep the peace. But boy oh boy, time after time, it’s getting tougher and tougher. You call your best friend and tell them all about it. You tell your spouse all about it all the way home or after they left.
You call your sponsor, write about it, pray about it, pray for them and ask God to help you endure the BS… then, one day, you snap! Now, listen, “snap” does not necessarily mean that you started yelling and calling them names, or that you attack them. It doesn’t have to mean that you reacted with slamming things about and huffing out.
Sometimes, “snapping” can mean just a quiet, simple letting go of the menacing drip, of the constant pretending to be ok with their ongoing and maybe incessant, phony, manipulating, gaslighting ways.
Recently I have decided to just let it go, to not put myself in that position, as much as it is possible for me, not to be around them. I don’t have to tell them off, or let them live rent free in my head. I don’t have to hang out with them or give them much thought. I don’t have to wish evil and bad things for them, nor do I need to gossip about them and let everyone else know what chumps they are.
Sometimes when I “snap” everyone knows it, other times, no one has a clue. It’s not necessary to say anything. As much as I’d like to tell them what jerks they are, it’s not necessary, I will just give them to God. That’s where we all belong anyway right?
Then there are times when I am writing or working on things around the house, or even driving in a quiet car, no music, no one else, just me and God. Next thing I know I get a really good idea, a thought that I snap on. When I get good ideas out of the blue, I know it’s not by my own thinking that I come to it, it’s a God thing.
When I share these ideas with others they look at me like they can’t believe I thought of it. Actually I didn’t, I just allow God free reign in my thoughts. I ask Him for help, so I’d better be listening when He answers. But this is a little different. Sometimes without asking, these ideas come to me that I know are not my own. I’m not that clever.
Sometimes I snap on my laziness, my slothfulness, my indecision, my desires and wants and needs. You know how the kids say “oh snap” when they see someone fall or mess up. Or maybe do something great, like get %100 on a hard test. In this case “oh snap” means, “wow! I can’t believe you just did that”. Lol. They also like to say it when they hear someone cap on someone else, again, the meaning would be “I can’t believe you just said that!”
There is a movie with Michael Douglas called “Falling Down” about a guy who snapped one day when his car broke down on the LA freeway. All he wanted to do was get to his little girl’s birthday party. But the stuff he had to go through to get there was enough to make any sane person crazy.
Sometimes, it’s just way to hard to hold it together when life attacks. But thank goodness, in our program, in our recovery, we have tools we can use to combat those kinds of days when we just want to SNAP!
Question of the Week: Have you “snapped” on anything recently?
