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Blog for May 16^th, 2022

Lunches & Dinners

     Yep, lunches & dinners and even luppers and linners, lol. It seems I spent the last week meeting up with people and saying a lot of hellos and goodbyes. Some of these “meeting up with” folks were joyful and some were sad and some were both.

     OK, let me start with last Sunday, Mothers Day: Went to a BBQ at my beautiful daughters. My son came and all her kids and my boy, my grandson that I’m raising. Of course his dad was there too. 

Tuesday: I went to see my aunt, she lives in the next town over, about thirty miles away.  She is going to move out of state and live with her daughter, my cousin.  She has been living alone since my Uncle died (I loved him so much) and she is now 85. She has never driven and relies on a neighbor to go places. Sometimes a grandson comes by and even stays with her, but for the most part, she is alone now. I am glad to hear she is going to be with her daughter. 

     So, I went to see her, and we went to lunch. We talked and talked and since she is eighty-five, she remembers a lot of the family from back when. She and my uncle starting dating when she was sixteen and married when she was eighteen.  That means they go back sixty-nine years.  She’s like a living archive of my family’s history. 

     As we were finishing lunch, she said that she had all of my grandfather’s picture albums and knew right where they were. My eyes got big, and she said, “let’s go”!  We spent the next couple of hours pouring over the pictures, very old pictures, my great

grandma, and relatives and with each picture, she had a story. It was so awesome. 

     But the “piece de resistance” came at the end.  When we were done and I looked at her, held her hand and through my tears, told her “Thank-you”.  “Thank-you for loving me and taking care of me all those times my mom dumped me on you guys”.  “Thank-you for loving me and always being there”.  I told her I was going to miss her.  We talked about how hard it is to leave a house that you and your husband lived in when he was alive, it’s like losing him all over again. 

    I left there with sad, happy, crying, smiling tears. I took one rose from her beautiful full blooming rose bush and brought it home with me to remember the house and her. I’m pretty sure that will be the last time I ever see her, I am so sad just writing this, but that was a very important lunch, a goodbye lunch.

    I didn’t have any important “meet ups” on Wednesday of this week, but the Wednesday before I met up with a sponsee for tacos and step work before our women’s meeting.  Actually, she lives near my aunt and had to drive over here to come do step work and I gave her a cake at the meeting for her twelve years clean. This was a happy, celebratory meet up meal and meeting.

Friday: after much texting back and forth, we finally nailed it down to meeting up at a nice local restaurant for dinner with a beautiful sponsee of mine and her new husband.  They were just passing through quickly, on their way back home, via the airport.  There was a group of us, because her and her husband use to live here and have a few good friends here.  It was a very happy, joyous time, good food, good people, good time. But it quickly became bittersweet when they had to hit the road.

     I wish I could have spent more time with her, with them both, but they had to go, lot’s of hugging, pictures and goodbyes about twenty times.  I love her so much and love to be with her. I believe I’ve written about her several times in my blog. She is amazing, sweet, successful, and now she was glowing from head to toe being newly married to her love.  So this one was a happy hello and sad goodbye dinner.

Saturday: After a month of planning, I finally got to meet up with a friend here in town.  A lady in recovery I’ve known about three years and have connected with.  She is a super busy single mama of three.  She works, runs her son all over creation to his baseball games.  She barely has time for meetings.  That’s why we met up, we were celebrating her clean time birthday and mine from last month. We’d missed each other taking a cake at a meeting, so we did our own little meet up.

    Even with the waiting a month for this lunch date, it was still hard for her to do it. The kids and her mom were all needing something and going in all directions, but somehow, we cut out nearly an hour and half for us.  We talked and talked. It was great, a lot of catching up.  You see, I think it’s important for people who care about people to meet up and nurture their relationship.  No matter how quickly or long, it’s so very important. 

     Also on Saturday, before I went to meet up with her, an old friend, a guy that my husband used to sponsor came to visit here at the house. We have known him for his thirty-five years of recovery.  We must’ve talked for about two hours about everything under the sun.  It was so good catching up with him. Him and his wife also moved far away, and we rarely see them anymore.  

     After his visit here with us, he and my husband went to see another old friend and it sounds like they all had a really good visit too. 

     I feel so grateful and so blessed to have had all these visits and “meet ups” lately.  To me, they are the fruit of our time in the program, even with my aunt.  I doubt I would be alive today without my recovery and I highly doubt I would have been thanking her for her love and care without having a program.

     My “meet ups”, lunches, dinners, BBQ’s and meeting for coffee times are not over.  Never! As long as I am able to get there, I will be meeting up with the people I care for and continue to nurture my important relationships. 

     This is my recovery, this is the way I was taught by the ones who came before me, and I love it. Food, conversations where we share from the heart, hugging, loving and caring and sharing the NA way, that’s the life I love. My husband and I pray before every meal and when we’re with friends and family we pray for their situation, whatever it may be at that time. Like, going to catch a plane and travel cross country. Or, they have a loved one sick or in the hospital, all of that goes before the meal and we give thanks. Giving thanks for your food and the people you are eating with, helps it to taste better. Even the Lords Supper was done with a bunch of friends! We are meant to share life and meals together.

Question of the Week: Have you had a lunch or dinner date lately with someone you cherish?  Have you had a “Meet up” to just talk or do step work?  How did it go?

PS- it made my heart so happy to see the restaurant we ate at on Friday full of people! laughing, sharing and eating together. during the Covid pandemic they had to shut down for a while, I loved seeing the happy, thriving restaurant. Thank-you Lord.