Blog for July 11th, 2022
Limitations
Pain, uh, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Lol, ok, I changed the War song up a bit. Still, that’s the truth! What on earth is pain good for? I’m gonna whine just a bit and let you know that I have a bad back and I made it worse last week-end – way worse, I couldn’t hardly move or anything. But I’ve been spending all week trying to heal. All the usual remedies: heated corn bags, packs of ice, ibuprofen, massages (3 so far).
Mostly resting it and taking it easy has helped but learning my limitations is another one of those great life lessons that I need to get on board with. Letting go- of the idea that I can continue to do the physical things I did in my 30’s plus years is a challenge, but one that I must learn for sure.
I have also been getting on board with another limitation, and it too hasn’t been all that easy to grasp. We are coming to the end of our time with our grandson living with us. He will be moving in with his big sister and brother-in-law. Of whom he loves and adores very much. They are late twenties, early thirties and much more fit, hip, and capable than we are. If you think that’s easy to say, much less realize, think again.
I have a lot of mixed emotions, but I know it’s for the best for everyone, especially him. And what’s best for him is what I’ve been all about since he came to live with us in 2013. Keeping him safe, sound, healthy and happy has been our goal. I think we’ve pretty much done that. Now he’s ready to grow in ways that my husband and I cannot keep up with. He needs more in his teen years than we’re able to do. And I want him to have it.
This is not my first time learning my limitations with something, here’s a short list of things I’ve come to accept over my years of recovery that I didn’t realize I needed to limit myself on: Obviously drugs, alcohol, Food! My mouth! Gossip! Complaining. Whining. Being hateful or judgmental. Being stingy. Being too independent, thinking I don’t need anyone’s help, I can do it all myself. Spending money. With-holding love and compliments. Accepting love & compliments. Knowledge. Now that’s a hard one. I try not to butt in with my kids, grandkids, sponsees and friends and family, but sometimes, when you see the people, you love struggling, the decision to speak out of turn and give them my experience, strength and hope on the matter is a loving thing, not just butting in to be budding in thing.
That can be a fine line when deciding to speak up about something, I have to weigh all the possible outcomes and even if turns out bad for me, I can only hope to divert them from some harm they might have been headed towards. But I must know my limitations and be prayerful and wise about when to speak up.
Food and money are two big ones for me. I’m pretty good with money, thanks to Dave Ramsey😊. But food.. ugh, I like it and I tend to like stuff that’s not all that good for me, darn it. But I try to limit my sugar intake, red meat and carbs. I’m not always good at it. This is a case of knowing my limits and still willingly crossing the line.
When I was younger and a go getter, I worked too much, I probably had too many service commitments and was gone more than I should have been, trying to make the world a better place. In fact, that’s why I write these blogs. Not so sure I’m helping anyone at all, much less the world! But I try, Lord knows I try.
So, I’m back where I started, my back, my bones, my strength is dwindling. I know I must accept my limitations, one more time, just like when I knew I couldn’t go on using and running amuck, I had to surrender and consider the outcomes and pain it causes me when I don’t consider them.
I realize there are much more serious things that people need to limit themselves on. Anything from adultery, porn, abusive behaviors, lying, stealing, just pure meanness. But as a person working a twelve-step program, this is where I’m at in this life. Just trying to slow my roll and stay as fit and healthy as I possibly can. Stop the pain.
Question of the Week: Do you know your limitations?
This what I think I’m able to do!