Blog for August 29th, 2022
Withholding Information
Have you ever had someone withhold information from you? For whatever reason, justified or not, if you are the one they
withhold information from, if you are the one they dance around in deceitful ways, it hurts, doesn’t it! It’s also called gaslighting. It’s like lying, and it’s cunning.
Don’t get me wrong, I have withheld information from people over the years, for different reasons. Sometimes to protect myself from “getting in trouble” with mom, teachers, bosses and so on. Sometimes from boyfriends, girlfriends, and co-workers. And sometimes, strangers and perhaps some people withhold information from the IRS, doctors, police and anyone they may fear could cause harm. It may even be viewed as self-preservation.
Each time I withheld information I thought I had good reason, but as I grow in faith and recovery, I find myself very uncomfortable with keeping valuable information to myself. And who is to say what is valuable to whom and what isn’t? Sometimes, I have withheld information because I forgot about it, or I didn’t think it applied to whoever.
When you flip this scenario and you become the victim of disinformation, bad information- on purpose- or the withholding of information, then it’s quite a different story. It is disturbing at times and upsetting.
Of course, the news on TV, radio, podcast and so on are full of lies, half-truths, “disinformation” and withholding truths and facts. We’re used to that, unfortunately. It hasn’t always been that way. It’s sad. It’s even sadder when your loved ones think that it’s ok to do it to you.
If you can’t tell, I am processing the fact that this has been done to me, one more time, by certain relatives. It’s hurtful for sure and sad to me that they feel it is necessary. But in my processing the painful feelings of it, all I know is that I must trust my Higher Power and pray for them. I don’t use no matter what and I try to let it go. I also find that writing about it like this is helping me a lot.
All I know is, that when I am in the wrong, the one it hurts the most is me, therefore, it stands to reason that if they cannot find their way clear to be upfront and honest with me, then they are the ones it will hurt.
Thanks for letting me work this out, live and in public with the whole world. It has been an ongoing theme with this group of relatives. It seems to be built into their nature. Still, I love them and care for them and I will continue to pray for them and want the best for them. Maybe it’ll take time for them to see and understand this, as it did with me.
The next time you might think about withholding information or skewing the facts to suit yourself or maybe you think you are keeping them from some kind of painful harm or feelings- think again.
Maybe it is the more humane or nicer thing to do, but maybe not. Don’t let your decision be all about you and just protecting
yourself.
Question of the Week: Why do you withhold information?
