Blog for November 7th, 2022
Not my Cup of Tea
I’ve been happy to stay home this week and get stuff done around here. But while I have, I’ve attended several NA zoom meetings and regional service committee for our website. I’ve talked to my sponsor and held a personal zoom meeting for some sponsees regarding the Guiding Principles text.
I’ve reached out to people that I don’t really know and have tried to make new friends. I’m looking for someone to relate to. Of course, I relate to everyone in the meetings on the premise of us all wanting to be drug free. We all have that in common. But I was looking for a person to relate to on matters of having a lot of time and still struggling with .. well, how can I say this, people!
I don’t have many people problems anymore; I’ve learned who to let go of and who to keep at a distance and who to bring in closer. Nevertheless, the ones I choose to keep at a distance seem to still encroach into my world. If I want to go to physical meetings, some are there. If I want to go to family events, some are there. If I want to go to private events, some are there.
I do not expect to get along with everyone and to be everyone’s bestie, but I would like to go to these places and not feel uncomfortable. I hate that I even worry about it at all. Yes, I’ve prayed, given them to God, wrote about it and stayed loving and cordial as possible.
I try to display a welcoming attitude, loving and accepting as I possibly can. Still, some people do rub me the wrong way and simply put, they just are not my cup of tea. I have come to really appreciate that phase. It means I do not have to slander them or say mean and hateful things about these people simply because I do not care to be around them, they all have many great qualities. It’s just, we do not jive, match, fit, relate, connect, hit it off, again, they are not my cup of tea.
But get this, I still love some of them and have a fond affection for them. Especially the family ones. The biggest riff with them is I am clean and in recovery and they are not. Some of the family is letting politics get between them. Ugh! I hate that. I hate to see my family tore apart by opinions; it makes me sad.
I even have a love for the ones at the meetings, I see them trying, I see them being of service and helping others. I admire that, I am happy for them, and our fellowship needs them, but still, they simply are not my cup of tea when it comes to our personalities meshing. And that’s ok. That’s what my sponsor, BFF and husband tell me. I believe them.
I think it’s great that we have many kinds of personalities in our rooms. We have a saying here that “diversity is our strength”. That means we have many kinds of people with different talents, abilities, willingness to serve in different capacities and help one another. And lord knows, our fellowships need lots of service workers.
Honestly, I began this thought process with the idea of complaining somewhat. I wasn’t aware of that at the time I began writing, but I see that now. Instead, I’ve had a bit of an awakening. I’m happy to say that. I still have a long- long way to go in healing and achieving a spiritual pinnacle (as if) where I do not judge or wince at others, but it’s progress, not perfection.
I have found that even if someone is not my cup of tea, that’s ok, chill out already girl. It doesn’t mean I can’t hug them, welcome them, love them.
A friend of mine is celebrating twenty years clean this week. She is very talented, smart and works hard- in her business and her recovery. Well anyway, a mutual friend posted a little video of them dancing together, somewhere at some street fair type place and she wrote, “they say you don’t have to dance with everybody, but I’m glad I get to dance with you.” I thought that was great.
We say that often enough around here -that you don’t have to dance with everybody (because they may not be your cup of tea) but you should dance with someone. Someone who is a kindred soul, who “gets you”, who cares about you and your recovery. There is indeed someone for everybody around here, maybe even a tribe of dancers for you. I’d say – “well then, let’s go dance! Who’s bringing the tea?”
Question of the Week: Do you have people around you who are not your cup of tea? Do you have people you can dance with?
