Blog for March 27, 2023
Should I Go, or Should I stay?
As I sit here today, in between meetings, duties and life, I am faced with a decision. It’s basically, should I go, or should I stay? Should I go to a meeting where I may end up voicing my unpopular opinion or just stay home where it’s comfy and cozy with my wonderful husband? Should I “put myself out there”, as they say, when this really isn’t my battle? Or, is it?
I have prayed, talked to my sponsor, sought the opinions and advice of those I know that have tons of experience, spirituality, and knowledge. I get something a little different from each person. Well, some of them. I am waning, I am losing heart, I have fear. Fear of making people angry at me, some, I don’t even know at all. But I want to do the right thing. The right thing in God’s eyes.
And again, I come back to, “is it my place”? I need courage and conviction; I need guidance and assurance. I want to be a “part of”, I want friends and I want people to like me. I don’t think this is the way to do it.
I want peace and unity, but my opinion could easily bring discord. I am going to pray about this, and I will come back to finish this blog later, after the time has passed.
I am back. With the total help of God I went, I got through it and worked hard to keep my comments simple, direct, honest and to the point. I made my three small points and left it at that. However, the whole controversy is still ongoing and I feel there is more danger ahead of us.
But what I have learned in my recovery is first: Don’t use no matter what. 2. Don’t let anyone drive you away from your recovery. 3. Give it all to God! I’m happy to say that these are still in play for me. However, I have gained some morals, values, and ideas about what God’s will is for me. How He would like me to conduct myself. I know that at my age and my recovery I am supposed to be a role model. I try.
I went and I behaved and shared my truth. That’s all I could do, today. As the days go on, I will try to be an influencer for doing what’s right. All I can say for tonight is, “I went”, I would like to claim some kind of kudo’s for that, but it was all God. I ask Him for the strength, and actually as I dressed, got ready and left, I felt like a supernatural force was at play as I backed out of my driveway and headed down the street.
I was in awe of that phenomenon, plus, I was enjoying it. It brought a smile to me. I was like “wow God, thank-you”, because of my own volition, I could not, I would not go into a battle. I’m still in awe.
I know there are all kinds of decisions to be made in this world and I’m sure, you all have your own decisions to make or you have made already. It’s not always that easy, is it? But sometimes, it’s very clear, what we need to do. For me, my guiding light is God and His will for me in my life. I find it’s much easier, safer and so much better to seek His will and follow it. However, He will help me through it, if He brought me to it.
In my life there have been many decisions to be made. As with anyone else, the ones I made out of self will turned out disastrous. Yet, my God was there to help me dig out of the problems I’d made of it all and restore me to a right place. Thank God!
These days, when there is any kind of decisions to be made, I pray and ask others to pray for me. I write it out, talk it out and seek advice from others who have a Higher Power working in their lives. Especially people with time and experience in recovery and their relationship with God.
For now, with today’s events behind me the next decision is how I’m going to spend the evening relaxing, knowing that God is in charge and I can always trust Him to help me decide what to do and lead me through it.
Question of the Week: Do you have an important decision to make? How will you go about it?
