Blog for May 22nd, 2023
Help me Help you!
Another memorable week of this and that, ins and outs, and living life on life’s terms. All in all, it was a pretty ok week. We had a few appointments, had to take care of business and medical stuff. But of all of it, two things stick out for me, maybe three.
Number one: We went to visit our awesome, sweet, wonderful grandson and his two little adorable, precious baby boys. Nothing lifts me up better than being with grandkids. Even though I don’t see them daily, they live about twenty minutes away, I do see them enough. Just knowing I could jump up and go to them at any time is a comfort, but in a couple of weeks they will be moving about 430 miles away, a seven hour drive, so it won’t be so easy to jump up and go visit
I sure will miss them, but we had a good visit yesterday and my heart is full, full of love, prayers and good thoughts for them and their new future. I will write more on this in two weeks.
Another thing that happened yesterday was a friend of ours memorial service was held at the beach. I did not go, for several reasons, but I’ve seen the pictures of how a bunch of guys, about ten of them went out on surf boards and got in a circle and held hands out there, I imagine saying prayers and intimate, loving things about him. Then they put his ashes in the ocean. This is because he was a huge suffer guy, he went everywhere to surf. He will be greatly missed; he was a good guy. I always loved hearing him share in meetings with his thirty years of experience.
But here’s the thing that I really want to mention from this week: Something that just put me off from helping others. See, I was trying to help a lady from our women’s group who shared she and her four kids were in dire straits, I told her I would be in her area the next day, she lives about thirty minutes away, because we were going to a doctor appointment over there in her town and I would help her out with some stuff.
After the meeting, I had told her I would be texting her when we were headed that way the next day. And so I did. No reply, so I called, no answer, so I waited a while. Meanwhile my husband had gone to the wrong doctor’s office, and we had to drive back to the other side of town. The traffic was horrendous, but we got there in time. He had to fill out several pages of the BS for them and that takes a while. So after about thirty minutes she finally called me.
OMG, now, I’m way on the other side of another town and the traffic between us is crazy. I told her I had tried to call her twice and texted three times, she said she was taking a nap!! What? Are you kidding me? You tell us that you, your four kids and the cat are starving, and I say I will come bring you food the next day, all you have to do is watch for my text. And what does she do instead? Takes a nap in the middle of the day while us two old people are running around trying to be a help and get our business done too.
Well, my sweet, kind, patient husband said, “just go and help her, I’ll be ok.” The front office ladies said it’d be about forty-five minutes. So off I went, it took me at least forty minutes to get to where she was. I met her at a gas station on the corner by her house. I put some gas in her tank and told her about my friend/sponsee that works with homeless women and children, and she had a few boxes of food ready and waiting for her. It was nearby.
She got taken care of and I’m really glad, I don’t like when kids go hungry, but I called my bestie and vented about the joy of giving was taken from me because I was bent up about her not answering the phone and taking a nap when I was coming to help. I’m still not good with that. If someone was driving from out of town and gonna stop by to help me out, I would be set on go. My friend asked if the lady I was trying to help was using. Ugh! I never even thought of that.
The bottom line is, please, please, help me help you! I have had to use this formula and set these boundaries with some family and friends over the years but this one took me by surprise. I know better than to say, “never again”, but, yes, at this point, it won’t be happening anytime soon. And the thing is, I purposely hooked her up with my sponsee so she can use her as a resource in the future. We’ll see how that goes.
Maybe she’s playing me, maybe not, I told you before that I was born suspicious, so it’s hard for me to outright trust people, especially people I hardly know. But I feel like when God puts someone in my path that I’m able to help, then I must do it. I don’t help everyone, every time, I’m not really a chump, or am I? Is that even the point? Just as a side note, I won’t stop loving her and praying for her and her kids and their situation. Yet I’m not so sure I’ll be there for her next time.
All I know is, I trust God and I’ll do what I can, but helping people who don’t even try – like answering their phone- sets me in a foul mood about helping. I need to call my sponsor and let this go!
Question of the Week? What’s your take on “Help me help you”?
