Blog for August 21st, 2023
Being Prepared
As I write this, on the 20th actually, I’m waiting for the remnants of Hurricane Hilary to deluge our land. We even went out yesterday and filled some sandbags, that’s about when I lost my cell phone. But the significance of the day for me is that it’s fourteen years to the day that my mother went to heaven, and boy, I sure do miss her.
They say time heals all wounds, but does it really? I think with time we do not feel the pain as intensely, except for on occasion, it can just come out of nowhere and hit you upside the head. Then again, it seems like just yesterday that I was with her in the nursing home, helping her to eat and talking about her coming to live with us.
I had a very cool dream about my mom three nights ago. I was waiting for a sponsee at a restaurant, a nice restaurant. I looked over, and there was my mom, standing in the lounge area. She looked sooooo beautiful, her black hair was up the way she wore it when she was younger, in a French roll. Her gorgeous green eyes as bright as ever. She was wearing a floral, chiffon breezy, elegant dress. Her skin was as flawless and creamy as ever. My Mom. I ran and hugged her so tight. I pulled back and she gave me a look, you know, a mom look. I ask her what was wrong, she said, “you don’t ever call me”. Oh man, I said, mom, you don’t call me. I can’t call heaven.
We went and sat in a booth, and I would not leave her side. I leaned on her the whole time. I just wanted to be right next to her. Not let go, not lose sight of her ever again. But sadly, I woke up.
As far as my lost cell phone, I was prepared in the fact that I have back up plan for locking it, so no one else can use it. Three different ways actually. I was prepared with re-activating an old phone. And after the storm passes, I will look in the sandbags, lol.
So, today’s Just for Today (JFT) mediation is about “facing death”, so every year, on the death day of my mom, I read that. It says that “death is a part of living life on life’s terms”, yes, I agree. I just wish it wouldn’t happen so often in our lives. Between my husband’s family, mine, sponsees, long time friends, it’s a regular occurrence in our lives.
The JFT goes on to say something about death of a loved one can bring us closer to our Higher Power. I agree with that also. In times of death, especially of people I’m super close to, I lean into my faith even more. I trust my God to get me through. Not that the pain ever entirely leaves, but the intensity does subside, and we do go on, to the best of our ability.
We all know death is inevitable, just like I knew this torrential rain was inevitable when a hurricane hit our shores. We deal with whatever life throws at us as best we can. When at all possible, we prepare the best we can. Like the sandbags for instance. Maybe we need them, maybe we don’t, but being prepared brings a peace of mind that is valuable to me.
As with death, I am not afraid to die, I will be overjoyed to meet my Lord and live life eternal. I just hope I have my house all cleaned and my stuff organized! Lol, that’s my big worry. I’m a dork. We prepared a living will and trust for our kids, so they will be prepared. For real, you can’t take it with you when you go.
It’s like Christmas, we all know that it will be here on December 25th and yet, on the 23rd we act surprised and run out to get presents and food. Well, I’ve lived long enough to have learned to start getting ready in summer for Christmas. Lol. But the point is, just be prepared as best we can. We also had an earthquake today. Definitely always be prepared for an earthquake. I used to teach earthquake preparedness for Red Cross. Here in California, we all know it’s just a matter of time before the big one hits. So be prepared.
Especially, be prepared for that day you know you will want to get loaded, to drink, to relapse. How do you get prepared for that? You go to meetings now, work your steps now, talk to your sponsor regularly now, develop a circle of close friends you can call on anytime who care about you and your recovery, now. I call this building insurance.
Then when the day comes that you might feel overwhelmed and relapse seems the only way out, cash in your policy. Do those things that have been habit, praying, meetings, sponsor, friends in recovery.
Stay ready, stay prepared and learn to let God have it all. Give Him your troubles and pains, He can handle it. Get used to doing that, and it will be natural as breathing when the time comes.
Question of the Week: Are you prepared for whatever might come? For fending off a relapse?
