Blog for February 19th, 2024
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!
Ya know, sometimes, making decisions is a good thing, a fun thing and a matter-of-fact thing. Like what color, what flavor, how much? Cheerios or Wheaties, rye or sour dough, with or without pickles? You get the picture. Every single morning, we wake up we have decisions to make right away.
When I first got clean, and for many years following, because I built it into my psyche, I would make the decision to ask God to help me stay clean today. Ahh, such a simple life then. As time rolled on I would add other decisions, “should I go to work or call in? Should I get dressed and ready and then wake the kids up, or get them going first?” And of course, we all have the basic decision of what to wear today, umbrella or no umbrella? Gift giving, vitamins, or no? Five cups of caffeine or two?
Once we’re up and out the door, which route do I take to work or wherever I gotta be? When I get there, should I avoid so and so, or meet them all head on? I personally liked to get into my room at work and have a little quite time, maybe read a short meditation and plan my workday or look over the plans I’d already made, check e mail for any updates and announcements about the day at work and so on.
Then, came the time I had to actually go to the office and see my coworkers, lots of decisions there. Should I ignore her or not, she’s always so snotty, should I ask for what I need (supplies) or just go routing for them? When the kids got there, my first decision was to always be welcoming, loving and kind, because you never know what they had to put up with at home.
But soon, there would always be a couple that made that decision more and more difficult. But, love them anyway, just don’t put up with meanness and disrespect. So many decisions we are not even aware of as I days go by.
Then comes retirement decisions, and there’s always household decisions, travel, entertainment, service work, which meetings to go to and so on. What step applies to this problem or situation? Wow, I’m wearing myself out just thinking about the normal, daily decisions.
Don’t forget our health and wellness decisions, my Love and I have had to make many of those decisions. Not just for ourselves, but for others as well. He has had to make the decision a couple of times about unplugging loved ones. So many more decisions for end-of-life plans.
This past week, I have once again had to make some hard decisions, regarding finances, family and health. Some of it is a little bit resolved, and the rest I am in prayer with. I believe my wonderful, beautiful Higher Power will show me the way if I but trust Him with it all.
When I was new, I was told, we can make the plans, but then leave the results to God. Well, I think that has been my daily, ongoing decision since I first got clean and if it’s worked all this time, no reason to do it different now.
Yesterday I made the decision to go visit my daughter and spend the night with her. We had a very nice time. Loving, bonding, fun, togetherness, I loved it, what a great decision.
Today, we are thinking of going to see our grandson that just relapsed. But I don’t think he’s in any shape to have us around today. We will pray on it. Each day, each situation brings with it the opportunity to make a decision, make a choice, decide- should I go or should I stay? Hey, there’s a tune in there somewhere. I used to sing that phrase a lot back in the day. I seem to have stayed in a perpetual state of confusion. I think that had more to do with should I do right or wrong? Because back then, I thought wrong was much more fun.
Now that my HP’s will is more important to me than all that insanity, I always include Him in my decision making process. If it’s a tough one for me, I always include my husband, sponsor and bff. I never assume that I know best. One of the best things I’ve learned in my recovery is that I do not have decide anything right on the spot, I can take time to think it over, pray and maybe get input. Just slow down a bit, give it a beat or two, maybe a hundred even.
*While I was writing this, I got a text from one of dearest friends sending me two different photos of should I wear or this to the concert tonight. Lol That’s funny she sent it now.
See, all kinds of decisions, sometimes input is required.
Question of the Week: Do you have a major decision to make soon? Money issues, health, job, travel, relationships? I do hope your everyday decision is to stay clean, then I know the rest will all work out.