Blog for December 16th, 2024
Sponsorship: the act of supporting a person, organization, or activity. Besides financially, it can be advice, encouragement or other help.
We had a good Holiday Function last night, our 37th. A great speaker, a guy I do morning zoom meetings with. It was an interesting pitch in that he shared his story around the sponsors he has had. The first two had died and now he’s on sponsor three. But it really got me to thinking just how important sponsorship is around here.
I mean, where would we all be without our sponsors? Or for that matter, our sponsees. My personal journey with sponsors has been an interesting one also. The first two told me they would sponsor me, and I didn’t even ask them. I was so new at this and naïve that I went along with it. One of them was quite the gossip and the other one was pretty much an airhead, lol. But I loved her and still do. She relapsed a long time ago and it left her debilitated. Those two did live in my town, but after them, I started searching outside of my town. Bev was pretty awesome, in the next town over and I loved her too and got a lot out of her. Because of her I went and got a counseling degree. But she moved even further away, and I tried to keep up with her, I’d drive a long distance to meet up with her. But we faded apart. So, I found another lady, far away as well, but she was from my town, that didn’t last long at all. I still love her too. Eventually I ended up with my current sponsor, Jessie, for about twenty-four years now.
We’ve been through a lot together. I met her through her husband Gordon, he was an incredible man of recovery, he had at least twenty years on us. He passed away about eighteen years ago, he would have more than sixty years clean now.
I’ve learned something from all of them, from the don’t gossip to your sponsees to, we can get through anything together and stay clean. Don’t use no matter what! Jessie is always honest with me and straight up, I love that. Even when she tells me stuff like “quit trying so hard”, I know she has my best interest at heart. Lol
Sponsorship is such a gift in our program, a blessing to us all. The people who have “been there, done that”, guide us through it too, helping us to dodge some of the difficult issues they encountered along the way in working the twelve steps. They also can strengthen our resolve when we need it.
I try to be a cheerleader for my sponsees and encourage them every chance I get. I love working steps with my sponsees and in truth, as many others will tell you, my sponsees help me more than I help them. I love them all. However, that does not mean that it is always easy and sunshine to sponsor people, oh no, it certainly is not.
Currently I have six sponsees, last March I had eight, two of them dropped me. That’s ok, sometimes we need something different, and we need to move on for the sake of our personal recovery and I was struggling with one of them anyway. The thing about sponsoring is, they have to want what you have and are willing to make the effort to get it. Not everyone is everyone’s cup of tea, but there is someone for everyone, I believe that. You have to be careful in selecting a sponsor, because this is someone you let into your innermost being, into your soul and sacred self. They need to be confidential of what you share with them. That is where the bonds are built, and the trust strengthens.
This does not mean you get along 100%, 100% of the time. Both me and my husbands’ sponsors have different political views than us. For the most part, it’s no big deal, but during election time, we just sort of back off. We all allow each other our own beliefs and space. That’s what grown-ups do.
In our Just For Today meditation book, February 8th, reminds us not to take our sponsors for granted. Yet, I often feel forgotten by my sponsees, sometimes I don’t hear from them for long periods of time, and I miss them. My sponsees have a lot of clean time, they all have worked the steps, traditions and concepts with me. They all have full and busy lives, for that I am grateful. They are living the program.
I try to plan regular zoom meetings for us all to meet up and we go through one of the books together. Currently we are on the new NA survival kit, they are little booklets that go through the steps. Which is actually a sponsors’ only job. To take them through the steps. If we form tighter bonds than that, then so much the better.
If you have a sponsor, remember to be kind and understanding of their feelings too and their time. They are not getting paid to listen to your crap all the time, lol. Lord knows they try. Also, please follow directions, if you think their direction is wonky, then you need a new sponsor, someone you are able to follow sound advice and take good direction from. I do not try to make them do what I want them to do, I give suggestions and talk program (twelve-steps) with them and then they do whatever they think is best for them. I am always open to suggestions from them. They are all so smart and spiritual, with tons of experience, strength and hope.
Since it’s the Holidays, this is a good time to show a little extra appreciation to them. I gifted all my sponsee’s with that NA survival Kit. 
For my sponsor I will go see her and go to lunch and take a gift that I know she likes. It is my pleasure and my honor to give back- to them all.
Question of the Week: How’s it going with your sponsor and sponsees?