Blog for August 4th, 2025
A Simple Matter
Us addicts are a special breed that love to complicate the simplest matters, make mountains out of molehills and pole vault over mouse turds. Why do we do that? Are we so intensely dis-illusioned and distorted that our mixed-up emotions and thoughts make the worst out of everything. I know for a fact that I did. Thank God for the steps, for recovery and a simple way of life that has helped me to rearrange my brain, my chaotic thinking. Especially my negative thinking that gave me the ability to turn ordinary situations into a real problem. What was that all about? Geeze.
Like I said, thank God for the steps and the program. Because I have spent my recovery working on my thinking, attitudes and gratitude, I am able to clearly see what I want and don’t want. It’s simple really. As our program likes to use the KISS slogan, it has become my favorite saying. Not just a saying to me, but a method of handling my day-to-day existence. Of coping with big dam deals that life throws at me. Death, financial problems, relationship problems and heartbreak. In order to handle these problems, I am a person who must keep it simple and bring it into perspective. I have to ask myself simple, basic questions: 1. Am I in danger? 2. Do I have food and a place to sleep? 3. Is this my fault? 4. Is it even really about me? 5. What can I do to fix it or make it better? Usually the answer to these questions are No, Yes/yes, probably not, and again, probably not, and Pray! It’s that simple
Likewise if I am dealing with someone who has deceived me, lied to me- been dishonest and not forth coming, I keep it simple by asking myself, am I willing to put up with a liar? And my answer is a simple no. You see, trying to have a relationship with a lying or cheating person creates a whole life of questioning every comment, every movement, every story and sadly, questioning if they are really a friend, lover or care about you at all. What a horrible, uncomfortable way to live. It’s not for me. If I can’t believe someone when I’m talking to them, then what earthly good is the relationship at all?
I’ve had sponsee’s lie and say they are staying clean, working a step, doing whatever in following direction, only to find out, they are not. Once I know that they don’t really want what I have to offer, then it’s time to let them go and hope they find someone they can trust and learn from, someone they are willing to take simple directions from.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t quit on people easily, I give every chance and hang in there as long as necessary, but at some point, I have to let go. Move on and save time for people who do want to get better and grow in their recovery. There are so many ways in which I need to “keep it simple and slow” and quit complicating things, life, me!
I am so grateful for the program helping me to get to a place where I know “my place”, my own self and what I’m willing to put up with, and NOT put up with. I do not want a complicated, twisted, clandestine life. I want to be me, free to be me and what you see is what you get. I’m the real me all the time, I do not switch it up to entertain or impress. If someone does not approve of me or like me, that’s ok, there are 6.4 billion adult people on the planet, pick another to lie to, it’s not gonna be me. It’s a simple matter really.
Question of the Week: Do you have someone in your life that lies to you all the time?
