Blog for August 11th, 2025.
Sweet Sixteen
For my most avid followers (lol, that’s me and my husband) you will remember when I first began this blog, it was because we were raising our little grandson due to his parents’ drug addiction and lack of ability to take care of him at that time. As a recovering person myself, as well as my husband, we knew he’d be better off with us at that time. There were a lot of hurdles, issues, trauma, insecurities and random BS that came along with that. Protecting him was our number one priority then, still is.
Our Bubba was four years old when that journey started, and by five we had him full-time and by seven we had legal custody, and we still do. At thirteenth he went to live with his older sister and her husband, she is fifteen years older than him. They are levelheaded and work hard and have great goals for life. She too and her younger sister experienced a lot of insanity growing up with her insane addicted parents. They all have the same parents. Anyway, for his time with us, we had him in counseling, church, sports, and we practiced our recovery with him. We love him so much. There were a lot of challenges, especially during the lock down pandemic time.
But all in all, between us all and his dad getting clean and being a constant part of his life now, he is fairly well adjusted and for that I am so grateful. He turned sixteen on Tuesday and we went and spent a couple of nights at a hotel near their house and celebrated him for a few days. We took our eighteen-year-old grandson with us; they have grown up together and are pretty close. So, it was a great time for them both. Our Bubba is now sixteen and six foot three, or a little more. Needless to say, he loves basketball, just like his dad. That is a shared interest they have. I’m glad of it.
No one can ever be sure if someone is completely healed from childhood trauma, because of those deeply buried wounds that can be triggered without a moment’s notice. But from what we can see on the outside, he is fairly well adjusted and for that, I am truly grateful to God and NA. He has loving people around him who love him dearly and that is more than most kids of his background get in this world. I can’t wait to see where he goes in his life, he is amazing. He has a sweet, caring disposition. Even at eight years old, one time we were in LA and ended up driving on Skid row, he was very upset to know about all the homeless people like that. For years he prayed for them every night and talked about how to help homeless people. I think around that time he also realized his mom was homeless too. So, it broke his little, sweet tender heart even more.
She walked out on them, him- when he was three and she has been strung out and on the streets ever since. I love that girl and pray for her every day, it’s so sad, at one point, she had nearly three years clean herself, that’s when she got pregnant with him, so he was born healthy praise God. She does know how to get clean and what’s it like. I can still hear her say, “my life is so much better since I got clean and I love my husband and kids”. That makes me cry to think of it. I remember the precise moment she said that at an NA meeting, and he was in a car seat thing right in front of her. She was smiling, her eyes were lit up and all was well, she even said, “he is perfect”.
Well, she is right about that, he is adorable, and I love him with my heart and soul. I just pray his sixteenth year is not like mine was, I started using at fifteen and by sixteen, I was off and running. Lord, please protect him. We’ve all had the “talks” with him about using drugs and he can see what happened to his mom and dad, but I know of many people who knew all that and said, “I’ll never end up like my dad, or my mom” and yet, here they are. Struggling to get through life, and hopefully, struggling to get and stay clean. What a whirlwind way to live. So sad.
Sometimes at meetings when we pray in or out of a meeting we add “and the children caught in the crossfire”. Because lordy ain’t that so true! And you never know until years down the road what kind of damage will rear its ugly head from the childhood abuse and trauma and manifest into some kind of syndrome or phobia or addiction. And there’s lots of kinds of addictions to choose from. Scary, isn’t it?
So yes, I want our sweet sixteen-year-old to stay that way for life, but you and I both know that’s impossible. Life will remind him as he gets older and joins adulthood, that it’s a bitch out there in people land and without God (and maybe twelve steps) it’s near to impossible to escape fears, feelings and setbacks that will come pounding at his door to bring him down. However, there is One who can help him circumvent those troubles and ease his way in life, I pray our Bubba finds Him and stays really close. Pain is optional, they told me. I pray it is for our sweet sixteen-year-old boy. Happy Birthday Bub, I love you so much.
Question of the Week: Were you or someone you know a child brought up in addiction, abuse and trauma?
