Communication: one addict helping another.
I went to the local mountains this last weekend and took a girlfriend in recovery, and we talked and talked all the way there and all the way back. We stayed with a friend of mine and we talked and talked. Then I spoke at their area campout, and you guessed it, I talked and talked.
I had breakfast with a sponsee after my eye appointment, and we had a good talk as well. During the week, I had several more meaningful conversations with sponsees, BFF and kids. Not to mention neighbors and people who are involved with helping us get a new lawn ready, it’s a big project.
Then there’s my ongoing and daily talks with my husband, and quite often when we do our daily meditations together that leads to deeper discussions. We talk about our feelings, past experiences, memories and goals, and our future plans. I very much appreciate and enjoy our talks.
Talking, communicating, venting, sharing, listening, and supporting each other is a huge part of being in recovery. None of this is to say that any of us have all the answers for anyone else, but we can listen and relate and that is what recovery is truly about. Identifying with another addict is the main way our program works. “One addict helping another”.
And it works best when we listen to each other and share our experience, strength and hope. It’s almost magical how it works and what a relief and a burden lifted when this happens. I felt listened to this weekend and it helps me to feel like I belong, and others care. Which is a wonderful, heart-warming feeling. I also love the feedback from others who understand me and I find out that I’m not the only one. How healing and wonderful that is. Hopeful to be sure.
I’ve often heard that “communication is key” in any successful relationship. It is also the thing that binds us together and helps us have solidarity. It promotes respect, caring, love and justice.
Sometimes I just want quiet and solitude, but then there are those times, like the ones I mentioned this past week when I did indeed get to have some adult, healthy, honest and open communication with other recovering women, and did indeed my fill. I am looking forward to more of it tomorrow and this week with sponsees working steps and discovering who we are, who we’re meant to be and where we want to go. What a tremendous blessing that is.
I think it goes without saying that you need to trust the person you are sharing intimate information with, otherwise, it can do more harm than good. But once you find “your people”, open up and let the healing begin. Feel the comfort of trusted friendship. The loving admiration of people who have been where you have been and also want to grow and heal and who understand and relate to your experiences. There is nothing like it in the whole world.
Sure you can pay someone $200 an hour to listen to you and probably give you pills to soothe your feelings, but there’s nothing like talking with someone who has been where you’ve been and gives you a genuine, loving hug when you’re done, and that speaks volumes about their care and love. Nothing else like it anywhere, best therapy around.
Question of the Week: Do you have trusted people you can talk with about your fears, your past, your future?
