Blog for September 1st, 2025
Envy
Is there anyone or anything you are envious of? Well, this is indeed something I struggle with to this day. Even though I’ve worked step seven, even though I’ve prayed and written on it. Even though I’ve talked to my sponsor about it and others. I still struggle with comparing my insides with others outsides. That is my biggest character defect. I think I’m a little better with it, as the years roll by, but boy, it’s been a struggle.
Envy, I believe, is one of the seven deadly sins. Yes, it is, I just looked it up, it says “Envy: A deep sadness or resentment over the qualities or possessions of others.” Sounds a lot like jealousy huh. Even though I have obviously been able to admit my charter defect of Comparing, I have never really looked at it as envy. What’s more, I have not delved deep into the fact that envy is deadly and if I keep at it, I am keeping myself from growing and experiencing the freedom I should be. I am not totally experiencing God and recovery as I should be.
Envy is a sly one, I have always prided myself on not being a jealous person, (crap are they on the deadly sin list too?- Pride and Jealously?) but again, I would do a lot of comparing and thinking “it’s ok, they can have a bigger car, house, trips or whatever than me, I’m fine.” Truth be told, when I sit and think about all the “stuff”, I don’t even want it. Nor the bills and upkeep that come with all that stuff. No, I really am good with where I’m at and what I have, except for a maid, I wish I had a maid. Lol. But the stuff doesn’t matter.
I am grateful for everything I have, including the relationships, the meetings, the service work, the work work, and all of it. I am slowing down on the comparing problem, and gratitude is the solution. But this envy thing can come at me sideways when I least suspect it. Even when I’m not paying attention, like I said, it’s a sneaky one.
I have had a wonderful weekend, and I know it’s an extra-long one due to Labor Day today, but it’s been full of recovery fun, family and living life on life’s terms. I am feeling good about it all today and pray it can continue. But I still need to watch out for those sneaky character defects like envy, pride and jealousy. I’ll leave it there for now, still, there are others to watch out for, and I know that’s true. My disease is always looking for a way to take me out and these defects sneaking in is a perfect way to set me up for a relapse.
But it doesn’t have to be that way these days, now I have steps, God, meetings, prayer, sponsor and sponsee’s. My friends, husband and others who care about me and my recovery, actually, I think I have a lot for others to be envious of, how about that! I’m kind of kidding and kind of not, in real life, I am humbled and grateful for it all. Because of where I come from, and everything I do have now, I had to work for. Still, I am very grateful Thank you, Lord and NA.,
Question of the Week: What are you most envious of?
