Blog for February 9th, 2026
Shirley
I ain’t gonna lie, this has not been the best week, in fact it’s been a downright awful week! My oldest sibling passed away last Tuesday on the 3rd. That alone is sad enough, but I’ve also been dealing with a horrific sciatica issue that just won’t go away, for the last three weeks. It’s so painful and I cannot ride in the car very far or walk very far. Which means, I could not make the two-hour trip to the hospital to say my goodbyes. I’ve been stuck here for weeks. I’m only mentioning it because of my sister. So, I’m here now to say goodbye Shirley, I love and miss you so much.
In light of all this I have been doing a lot of reflecting, reminiscing, meditating and working on step eleven. My family has always been so important to me, and we have had some great times together. At our Thanksgiving gatherings me and my sisters would put that song on and sing “we are family, I got all my sisters and me”. And we’d laugh, hug, cook, eat, dance and sing with each other, our kids, around the kitchen as we cooked. There were the four of us and our brother. Now, it’s just me and him. With each sister that passed, I would cherish the others even more.
THE most important thing about us was our shared faith, our recovery from drug addiction and the insanity that came with it. Yet, even through those using years and running crazy years, we still all stuck together. My sisters and I lived with each other from time to time or at least took shelter with one another on an as need-to basis. When domestic violence, poverty, the law or whatever was happening happened. Then in March of 1981 I believe it was, my sister Shirley got clean. And after that, it became a domino effect in our family. She is the one that twelve-stepped me into the rooms of recovery. It was four years after her, but I finally came into recovery due to her example and the inspiration she gave me, in April of 1985.
Since that time, these last forty plus years for me, we have created yet another unbreakable bond. A family in recovery. There’s nothing like it, we have had so many good and memorable times together, sometimes our family gatherings were like being at an NA event. 😊 We had so much fun. And the stories, oh boy, let me tell you, between the four of us, lots and lots of stories. Most of which I would never tell on any social media or web page. Lol, even if the statute of limitations are up. Lol
But it hasn’t been like that in many decades already. Shirley would have forty-five years clean this coming March, in about three weeks. And in her recovery time she has helped a whole lot of people and carried the message of recovery wide and far. She has been the main speaker at many conventions and has lots of tapes floating around the fellowship. She worked in women’s prisons and with hard core men parolees. She went to Washington DC to advocate for Prop 39. And has done so much to promote recovery in this whole So Cal region, the state and beyond. I am proud of my sister, just getting clean and off of heroin was the biggest accomplished in my book.
But love and adoration run much deeper than that for me. In our family, family means something: it’s a strong bond of “no matter what’s”, of loving each other through the worst of times, holding each other up and encouraging one another. Applauding accomplishments and cherishing our bonds.
And that is just the beginning, then there’s my beautiful nieces and nephews, that I love so much. I practically grew up with them because I am the youngest sibling and my oldest niece is only four years younger than me. She sadly went to heaven in 2001 due to Lymphoma, it was such a sad and distressing time for us all, especially Shirley. Sherise was her oldest child, and I was only four years old when she was born, we grew up together more like close cousins than aunt and niece. We did a lot together; she was so beautiful. But now, my sister gets to hug her little girl again, one day, I will too, all of them. Basically, my crew has moved on, I have lost most all of them.
I just wanted to dedicate this blog to my hero sister, because she is the wind beneath my wings. I know I’ll see her again but just wanted to do this little memorial, thanking you Shirley for all the love, laughs, recovery and sweet, sweet times, whether in pain or joy, we did it all. What a life we have lived. I love you so much, see you on the other side.
Question of the Week: Do you have family in recovery? Have any passed on?
Did you ever know that you’re my hero, everything I would like to be.. I could fly higher than an eagle, because you are wind beneath my wings.