LOL’s and JK’s
Just kidding (JK) while I am Laughing out Loud (LOL). It seems the lol tag is used in many of the new social media platforms. Texting, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Viber and so on. I, myself, use it daily and often.
Why do I use it so much? Because I found out early in the social media world that it is universal and helps lighten the message I am delivering. It helps me send a message and take a message with a “grain of salt” as they say. To not take the message too serious.
Likewise, the “jk” is also used to lighten the mood and keep things easy breezy. But I can have an issue with that. I am as guilty as anyone else when I say that it is sometimes used to deliver a hard truth or opinion that may not be well received otherwise.
I once knew a guy who use to say “I don’t mean to be rude, but…” and as sure as the sun comes up every morning, he’d say something rude. I got to where I would laugh when he’d start with that and.. I’d brace myself. Or, I’d turn to the person he was saying it to and say “oh, yes he does”. Meaning, yes, he means to be rude. It’s very interesting that he knew he was rude and pretty much admitted it, announced it and went ahead with it.
There’s something about the whole lol and jk that seems to be another way of announcing and admitting rudeness without really owning it. It is a sneaky way of throwing down judgements and opinions, being snarky and foul without suffering the direct consequences from the offended person because they were side swiped and didn’t even know what happened. But it leaves people second guessing about themselves and you. That’s really not playing fair, is it?
By repeatedly working my twelve steps over and over again I have found some of these character defects laying beneath the surface of more obvious ones. Like, jealousy. If I am jealous of someone for whatever reason and I tell them congratulations for their achievement but follow through with some kind of snide comment like “it took you long enough” or “it’s a start”, then I am canceling out my kind remarks for the rude ones, but hoping they don’t really get it. I think you know what I’m getting at.
These days, I try to be a lot more mindful of my replies. I try to season my remarks with salt when necessary, because I do not want to be brutally honest and hurt people’s feelings. It’s not necessary. By working my steps, I have learned to deal with the jealousy I might incur when I hear of others achieving what I wish I could have done. No need to be snarky or give snide comments. If I can’t be genuine and happy for them, then I should just keep scrolling.
My mother always told me “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Boy I wish I would have followed that very wise advice more closely over the years. It certainly still applies and always will. Sometimes, a flippant answer, an lol or jk may not be the kindest response. Still, other times it’s the exactly right thing to do.
I have noticed over the last few years of using these acronyms, that they can really lighten the mood and keep things even. I just know I must be mindful of using both of those responses in the most appropriate and loving way possible. I think saying “just kidding” after a mean remark is not ok. If I do that, then I’m just trying to alleviate myself of a negative feeling or thought that I want them to feel as well. Why? For what purpose? Is the person I’m subtly putting down even aware of my meanness? It is hurtful and wrong. I do not wish to work a program where putting down others lifts me up. In fact, it really does just the opposite
.
I hope you’re not lol’ing right now and I won’t say Just Kidding, jk. We all need to decide for ourselves the right thing to do and work our own programs. Just beware of underlying defects when you think your Higher Power has given you reprieve from the ones you ask for Him to remove. If we don’t strive to admit and see our wrongs, whether anyone else gets them or not, I do not think we will be fully free or recovered.
There are many other ways that we can be subtly putting others down without outright saying so, it’s sneaky, rude and disrespectful. As in the case of the Southern phase, “Well bless your heart”, can often be used as a put down and it sounds so sweet that the person on the receiving end probably doesn’t even pick up on it. That is not the way I want to live today. It breeds
contempt and hate. Which will live deep inside of me until I honestly work the ninth step, in fact, all of the steps and ask my Higher Power to change that in me. Just food for thought is all.
Question of the Week: Do you pass out “lol’s” and “jk’s” like candy? Are you mindful of that?
