Blog for June 20th, 2022
Dads, Kids & Old Friends
Happy Father’s Day! I hope you all had a good one. Even if your dad is not with you anymore, either in heaven or parts unknown. Still, it seems we find replacements of sorts for our parents and missing family members when we feel a need to. It’s like God can see the hole in us and sends someone else to help fill that hole.
I for one have never known my biological dad and there is still much confusion over the facts. I won’t ever really know in this life. But I had a really sweet father-in-law, and my big brother has always been there for me. In fact, he pretty much raised me. I love him so much and I’m grateful to God for my brother.
Today is Father’s Day and our daughters came by to see my husband. They brought their husbands and one of them brought two of her kids and her grandson, of whom is our great grandson and such an angel at three years old. So adorable. And of course, our twelve-year-old grandson lives with us and is here and we’re going to make some hamburgers and my son will be here soon.
It sounds all perfect doesn’t it. The fact is, there are three other kids we started out with in this relationship with. One of the other three, his daughter, the oldest of all of them, died six years ago with pancreatic cancer. He also raised another boy that was not his. Yet, raised him as his own. That boy found out he was not my husband’s real son and disowned him. Doesn’t make sense, does it? Then, there’s the oldest stepson, he disowned all of us about three years ago. I believe addiction has a deep hold on him this time. He’s been clean before, so he knows where to go and what to do if he wants to stop using. But he won’t talk to us.
My husband told me today that he had a dream he was hugging that boy and crying. How sad is that. So, even though we have some of the kids around us, and they are all talking to us and we get along ok, it doesn’t mean it’s all roses and perfume around here. We certainly have our blessings, and our grandkids are the biggest ones.
Yesterday we celebrated our oldest grandsons thirtieth birthday with a big to-do at a park, it was good. However, some of the kids were drinking- a lot and it got a little disturbing for me. I don’t like to be around people who are drunk, and so, we were the first to leave. But I love them all, dearly.
Being a father, a parent, a guardian, brings with it so many emotions and ups and downs that many books, movies, and shows have been made on the subject. What a complicated relationship parent and child can be.
I have struggled with the fact that I’ve never known my earthly father, but after I got clean and started pursuing my faith, I came to know for a fact that I do have a Father. He guides me, supports me, and upholds me with His righteous right hand. That was a vision I had once when I first started practicing my eleventh step, “sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out”. Well, early on I had a vision: I could see the giant hand of God holding a baby and the baby was me. He is indeed holding me up with His righteous right hand. What a comfort and a blessing. I am cared for and loved by my heavenly Father.
Happy Father’s Day Lord. Thank-you for everything, mostly for loving me. He is the example of what a good father should be doing for their children, but we just seem to fall short of the mark don’t we?
I realize also that we drug our children through our addictions and crazy life for the first few years of their lives and we have had to reap the consequences of that. We must give our kids to God on a daily basis.
Yesterday, we also went to a friend’s memorial. He and my husband have been friends for sixty-five years. His wife and kids were all there and about one hundred people. We seen people we hadn’t seen in many years. It was very moving and very
nostalgic. Later that day, yesterday, we found out a nephew had passed away and another old friend of my husband’s. He knew Wes for about fifty years I believe, a very nice man. Turns out he had passed away a while back, but my husband only found out last night. Lots of memories passed through us yesterday. It had its sweet memories and painful losses.
All in all, our dads, our kids and losing lifelong friends is just all part of our journey on this planet and I choose to do it clean and in recovery, bottom line, with my steps and my Father God, all things are possible. Like healing and a life beyond my wildest dreams.
Question of the Week: How is your relationship with your parents and kids? Do you still have long time friendships?
