Blog for January 1st, 2023
The Newcomer
Happy New Year ya’ll! Can you believe it, another year has come and gone. I know there were some rough patches in 2022, but it was still a sight better than 2020 or even 2021! I picked Newcomers as the topic this week because of the new year, new lease on life, new experiences to be had, and the newcomers in our meetings.
2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us when we come to Jesus, we are a new creature and the old has passed away. I feel like that today. The old year is gone and a new one is fresh upon us. We are all gonna be Newcomers to 2023, a clean slate, a re-set button to push, if you choose to. But whatever you choose to do or not do, this is all new to all of us, none of us have ever been here before.
Still, I have indeed been thinking a lot about the Newcomers to recovery and how can I be better at welcoming and encouraging them?
Just two more days and it’s my husband’s anniversary clean day. He’ll have thirty-eight years! Wow Whee! He is indeed a miracle and I’ve loved being on this journey with him. It will also be my new sponsee’s first year clean. She is also a big miracle; a year is big deal if you ask me. There are a lot of “firsts” in that year.
Some of you may be saying, “well, if she has a year, she’s not new”. Yes, she is. Even the first five years is considered new around here. During the first year the Newcomer is just starting to learn how to function in society – somewhat, without the use of drugs. Maybe they got a job, maybe they are being restored to their families. Maybe they are working on getting a license back if they lost it, maybe they are learning how powerless they are over drugs. And maybe, if they get to step two, they are being restored to sanity.
My husband used to say that recovery is like a country western tune played backwards: you get your wife/husband back, you get your kids back, you get your house, car, job, life back! However, you only get it back if you work for it, stay clean, work a program, get a sponsor to help you do that. And to get it back in a healthy way takes a lot of work.
Newcomers need to go to meetings, often. There, they will find others that they can relate to who will help and encourage them on their journey of recovery. They will find others who will share their experience, strength, and hope. They will share common feelings, experiences and how they got through tough times, especially in that first year.
During the first year, twelve step fellowships give out token tags for increments of recovery, thirty, sixty, ninety days clean. Then onto six months, nine months and then a year. I really don’t know why, but I found them very encouraging. Such a simple thing, but the accomplishment was huge. If you’ve been there, then you know exactly what I mean. It’s a very encouraging act.
In NA, we have readings before the meeting and one such reading tells us that the Newcomer is the most important person in the meeting. Because they are our lives blood. And they.. the newcomer, are our primary purpose.
In a twelve-step program, our creed, our code, our purpose is to carry the message to the Newcomer and in so doing, we not only reinforce our own recovery, we are living our purpose. The plan that God has set in place for us before we even got to it. One addict helping another one is without parallel. In other words, there is not any better medicine in all the world for a recovering addict than a recovering addict.
A Newcomer is like a child in so many ways. First, most of us quit growing emotionally, mentally, and spiritually when we start using. So, when we first get clean, we are still stuck at whatever age we start using. I toyed with drugs and alcohol at twelve years old, and by fifteen I was getting deep into my addiction. So, when I got clean, I really hadn’t matured emotionally much pass sixteen. I had a whole lot of growing up and catching up to do.
And as with any new experience, just like a little child, seeing and experiencing life and all it has to offer for the first time, with clean eyes, clean mind and spirit is like seeing through the eyes of child, with wonderment and maybe even some fears and trepidation. Not certain of what we are seeing, learning, and hearing in our new world.
This will be at different levels for different addicts, for different newcomers. But it is pretty much what happens to most new people in recovery. I’ve heard many a recovering addict talk about how clear and vivid colors are now when they look around at nature and cities and especially their own homes and families with fresh eyes and a clear head.
I remember a trip to San Diego to see our daughter and driving there I felt like that child looking at it all for the first time. The mountains going there seemed so beautiful, colorful, almost surreal. Then we stopped at a fruit and vegetable stand and the colorful food looked so vibrant, I was feeling so alive and elated. Almost like I was trip’n on acid, but I wasn’t. I like to remember those experiences.
One of my favorite things to do is to take a child or a newcomer to somewhere, some event or something they have never seen before and watching their faces light up and their eyes open wide. We got to experience that the last eight years while we had our grandson with us and took him to many special places. The wonderment and fascination is pretty much like that for Newcomers as well.
So, if you are a Newcomer, welcome! Please stay. If you have been clean and in recovery for a while, keep encouraging and helping the Newcomers. Watching recovery and life through their eyes helps to keep it fresh for me. They need so much love and support. We can’t do it for them, but by sharing our experience, strength and hope and letting them know that if we can do it, so can they! And before you know they are the ones helping Newcomers! 😊
Question of the Week: Have you helped a Newcomer lately?
In 2023, be all you can be! Happy New Year my friends!