Blog for April 24th, 2023
No Regrets
As we mourn the loss of our loved ones, memories will flood our minds. Good times, bad times and in-between times. Sometimes there is regret, and always the feeling that we could have spent more time together, quality time especially. I do not like living with regrets. I want to always believe that I have done my best to give love and attention to those God has put in my path.
I’m not trying to be super woman and be with everyone all the time, that’s silly. Someone would always be ignored for sure. But I do try to stay in touch with people when God puts them on my mind and heart. At the very top of my list is God Himself, and me. My quiet time is very important to me and that’s when He is able to speak to me about others, I get nudged about, “call Susie, go see Judy, ask Jim if he’s heard from Mike, Jerry, Bob” and so on.
The ones that are constantly on my mind are my kids and grandkids, family. I try to stay in touch and be with them all as much as possible. But some live far away and I can’t see them as often as I’d like, but we have many ways of staying in touch these days, don’t we?
I learned early in my recovery that I did not want to live with any regrets, so when someone on my path seems to be in need, in pain or just plain wants a friend to talk to, I do my best to oblige, just as my God would want me to. I lived with enough regrets from my using days that left a knot in my gut and a lump in my throat that I did not like. Early in my recovery someone from our NA group died and I ask myself if I did all I could to carry the message to them, at that time I made a quiet promise to myself to try my best not to live with regrets.
At the end of my life, I did not want to live with the regret of leaving my kids hanging. I want them to know first and foremost that they mean everything to me, and I love them beyond measure. I want my final wishes to be clear and leave them with the ways and means to fulfill those wishes.
I also do not want to regret not pursuing a degree, a career, a goal, or an adventure that was in the forefront of my mind. I want to know that I have given it all my best shot, knowing I have done my best to live within God’s will.
With that said, it might be important to note that I still have goals to accomplish. Self-made goals, like… writing some books. I feel driven to do so. I can’t wait until I tell you that I finished the one I’m working on now. At this moment I regret that I haven’t finished it yet. Hopefully before this year is over. My photography is also a personal need I have to accomplish getting some of my photos out into the world.
I also may have a small regret that I did not move away from here, but I do not see how I could have done anything very different at this point, mostly because I do not like debt. Nevertheless, I am not in a bad place, I am well taken care of by my Father in heaven, no real regrets, or complaints here. Except the managing and organizing of my “stuff” and property.
I also regret not being able to watch my weight better, but hey, that’s a daily life struggle for sure. I seem to like all the wrong foods. Ha! And of course, being retired now, I am working on the ever infamous “bucket list”. In a few days I leave to go to the only state I’ve never been to. Then in October we plan on going to a convention in Alaska, where we hope to see the Northern Lights. At that point, besides the books, I will pretty much be done. Unless my granddaughter lets me go with her and her friend to Scotland, yay!
How does that Elvis song go? “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but too few to mention”. Man, I hope that’s what I can say at the end, thanks to my God and recovery, I have been able to ward off a whole lot of regrets I might have ended up with, like, dying loaded and in my disease. Thank-God that is not who I am today. I was also gifted with the time and ability to “undo” regrets in the making, what a gift! Therefore, I think I will just keep coming back!
Question of the Week: Do you have regrets? How’s that going?
