Blog for July 31st, 2023
Disappointments
Disappointments are inevitable. We all know that, and yet, when they happen, we have a setback and feel singled out in some way. Or maybe we feel totally ignored, hurt to our deepest core. Disappointments can range from “eh, no big deal, I wasn’t expecting much anyway” to “OMG! I can’t believe what they did, said, or expected, the pain of it all is too great to move past any time soon.”
This week, I’ve been somewhere in the middle of those thoughts and feelings. I know I will move past the disappointments I’ve had this week, but it’s not without some scarring and some pain. I know I will move past it because I have before, with God’s help. I have gotten past so much hurt and disappointment by letting go and letting God. Resolving the matter, if and when I could. Or simply by just moving on.
Which process to use is where I can come in conflict with the whole idea, but usually, while I’m trying to work that out and decide my course of action through the issues, it usually works itself out. Or I just get tired of dealing with it and let it go.
I have learned in my time in recovery that if a matter needs to be addressed by me in some way, it will keep returning until I do tend to it. You can count on that. My God will not let me off the hook that easily. Therefore, I (or you) might as well deal with it sooner than later and be at peace with yourself, God, and the whole matter.
Sometimes I want to wallow in self-righteous indignation and see all the reasons I should not make amends, after all, they were the problem, not me. They started it, not me. Yet, if I’m the one sitting here all bunged up about the issue/s, then perhaps I should do what I can to clean up my side of the street.
The thing is, I’m not perfect! They are not perfect, no one is. For whatever reason we go through difficult times, I know I’m not alone, no matter how much it feels like it sometimes. I hate that I am so fallible, I think that would be a matter of pride. Pride, to the dark side leads- as Yoda might say. But it’s true. When I am being prideful, I get myself into a bit of trouble. Or a lot of trouble.
I have run the scope of disappointments in my life, from the illnesses of myself and loved ones, to losing them to death. From failing at something I have tried so hard to overcome or accomplish. From relationships that mean so much to me to the heartbreak and deception of their betrayal. Very painful stuff. Painful enough to want to use or drink over and squish the pain away. But I know that is only a short-term remedy. No, it’s not a remedy at all. It will only cause more heartbreak and pain. And the original problems will still be there anyway, never to be resolved.
Disappointments will come, so does surrender, healing and amends. So does joy, laughter, and love. It’s not always easy to stay diligent to our recovery, but I guarantee you that it’s so worth it.
Question of the Week: Have you had any disappointments lately?
So True!