Blog for January 15th, 2024
Dear SAD sufferers,
Considering its January, and I’m a SAD (Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder) sufferer, it’s been an ok week. I must work at not getting too far down in the dumps on these cloudy, cold, dark, winter days. But celebrating my husband’s thirty-nine years clean and then our daughter’s forty-fifth birthday helped to brighten spirits.
But in between those celebrations, it was all about keeping up with zoom meetings, trying to get some good sleep. Going to the dermatologist and getting three more spots burned off. But then, I stopped by a nice little restaurant on the lake, I was the only one in there for about an hour and I worked my tenth step there. It was great.
I needed a little time away from the house, somewhere quiet to work that step, which is like a review of what’s been going on in my life, and how I’m feeling. It’s not that I couldn’t find quiet in my house, but I have some cabin fever going on. It’s just good to get out and do something. The wind was blowing, and the lake had some white peaked waves rolling in, it was pretty cool.
It doesn’t take much for me to find my happy spot. It’s usually just a calm, quiet place where I can drink tea, write, and look at nature. At home, I put on the YouTube channel to play ambience videos. There are all kinds, cabins, snow, rain, nature, rivers, valleys, cityscapes, all kinds. They often have soft jazz, or the sound of rain, wind, something calming playing. I’m just happy with the crackling of fire in the fireplace.
Also, another thing I try to do to help keep the winter doldrums away is getting on my treadmill for a few minutes, usually twenty to thirty. Plus, working around the house, putting things up and cleaning things, a little at a time. I also have sponsees that I talk to and a couple of friends. It’s been really hard to get my sponsor to do my tenth step with me, but I suppose one day, it’ll happen. I hope so. We did have a long conversation though, which was great.
I also caught up with another friend today on the phone, it had been a while and there’s been a lot going on in our lives, she’s the one I went to Alaska with last September. She helped me work through the stuff the vet told me about our little doggy. We took her yesterday and got x-rays to see what’s going on. I’m a bit confused about it all, but mostly it boils down to loving on her and keeping her as happy and comfortable as possible.
My husband and I had talked about taking an overnight trip on Saturday and going to an NA area meeting in another town that someone ask me to come to, but we cannot go due to weather and germs. But I’m still trying to make it a productive weekend. I did go out to see my daughter, she’s about twenty miles away.
This may sound like no big deal to most of you, like it’s easy stuff, but it’s not: pushing yourself to do positive things when you feel like staying in bed in the fetal position is huge. Fighting against the urge to pull within oneself can be one of the biggest battles you ever face. Once you are deep inside yourself, a depression sets in that is very hard to get out of and they usually want to medicate you at that point, and I do not want those drugs.
Therefore, I will stay doing my daily meditations with my beautiful, sweet husband, and reading my bible and doing my prayer journal and pages. Of course, I will continue to work with my sponsees and keep trying to nail my sponsor down to work my tenth step!
Another thing I do in the winter months is plan for our summer vacation. Even some Springtime outings. It helps to know I have something to look forward to. The important thing is to stay clean and this too shall pass, it always does, every year. I will tend to my recovery as best I can.
I also attended a special birthday zoom meeting on Sunday that was for our oldest living member in NA, Norm is his name, and he is celebrating sixty years clean! Wow Whee! If I needed encouragement, there it is! Many people with decades shared at that meeting. There was over one thousand years clean in the room! Thank-you Lord for them all. And many more on zoom with me.
I’ll keep getting on my treadmill and zoom meetings. I’ll keep on pushing myself to do something positive around my house each day. I don’t know why that’s so hard, maybe because I’m getting older and older and more tired. Still, I will continue to try.
But one more thing, sometimes, it’s ok to take a beat. If your mind, body, and spirit are calling for a rest: for a pulling back of social events and such, it’s ok, rest. But do not go deep within, that’s a dangerous place.
Question of the Week: Do you get the winter doldrums, are you a SAD sufferer? Or maybe you just get a little cabin fever in the winter: how do you deal with it when you get them?
