Blog for April 29th, 2024
Dealing with Rude people
I may not be in the best place to write my blog right now, but time is running out. Thinking back over the week’s events, it was pretty much an easy does it week for us. That’d be me and my husband. We even jumped up and went to a movie and dinner just out of the blue one day. A nice day out. I’ll take it.
So, like I said, a pretty nice week around here, until Sunday, when I went to a service meeting for a Twelve-step program. There were some things “asked for”, monetarily speaking, and when I asked why, a newcomer got all upset about that. She is young, new, and very rude. But she had such hateful look on her face and bad attitude. I guess where she comes from people just dole out money without asking why.
This isn’t about the money or paying for what we need to run the area efficiently, it’s about her attitude. This is not the first time she’s done this to me and I have a strong feeling she is running off of someone else’s issues. Whatever the reason, her rudeness is obvious and upsetting to me. We have never had words or really ever talked, just a hi and bye and a hug. That’s all.
So, as I pray about this and wonder why, I know the solutions: First, do not respond, challenge or be rude back. Next, be sure to pray for her, then to talk to her about it all. And possibly the person who she is picking up her attitude from. Whom also is a person I’ve never really talked to. I get curious about it all, especially when I’m treated badly. Most of the time, I just try to ignore rude, disrespectful people, but when it happens repeatedly from one person, I have to wonder why.
The past couple of months I’ve been trying to live in a happy spot as best I can. Think positive, be happy, don’t get worried or upset over what I cannot control. And actually, it’s pretty much been working. I will get over this too, but I can’t keep ignoring people who treat me like that. So, I will talk to her.
Meanwhile, I will pray to let it go, ask God to take it from me and show me how to deal with this. As I said, she is new and young and I do not want to mess with her recovery, but she’s certainly messing with my serenity.
Thanks for letting me work through this issue, I feel better already. It’s not that big of deal really, not in the scheme of things. And I always ask myself, “just how important is the person to me?”, “how important is their opinion to me?” “How would it change my life, my attitude?” The answer to these questions will determine my own reactions.
The bottom line here is to first, calm down, don’t respond in the moment, be silent. 2nd, pray, breath and vice a versa. 3rd, write about it. 4th talk to sponsor or trusted friend who cares about me and my recovery. 5th, make sure I give it to God, pray some more. And there it is, the basic formula for dealing with some upset. Not all anger or upsets are so easily dealt with.
For the past three weeks I’ve been helping a close friend deal with some very sensitive issues and feelings. Her father-in-law is very sick, he probably won’t make it, he’s been unresponsive for about two and a half weeks out of three. But her in-laws are not getting a long and that complicates an already difficult situation. So, I don’t think my simple formula will necessarily work for her. Maybe a little, in parts, but they have a greater heartache to deal with, no simple answers, except prayer.
Still, whenever possible, I know that calming down, praying and taking deep breaths is very helpful, in many situations. Then to write about it and call someone who you can talk to about it is invaluable. Sharing our burdens and getting feedback can be the best thing we can do for ourselves in these situations.
I hope if someone is being unkind or rude to you, you are able to let it go and leave it behind without causing more problems. And no matter what, using drugs is NOT the answer.
Question of the Week: What do you do when you are upset with someone.
