Well, as I said last week, this is Junemas and the thrust of it all was in this last week. My husband and three grandkids with birthdays on the same day and two granddaughters a couple days before that. Over the last six days, it’s been five of my grandkids birthday. Also, two of my dearest friends share a birthday a week ago. More birthdays are to come this month, like my brother, nephew, and others.
Plus, today, as I write this, it is Father’s Day. We kept it low key because we are tired from two days of parties this weekend. But my kids stopped by to visit and tell my husband happy Father’s Day. So that was nice. I am disappointed though that a certain grandson that we’ve been expecting all day did not show up- again- and left town.
My husband has turned into another decade of life, and I am so proud of him and how well he’s been doing. No, it’s not easy and he has ups and downs throughout the days, but he has been a real trooper these last couple of days, in fact, this last month and I say a resounding thank you God!
There’s much to be grateful for from this past week alone, plus helping a sponsee with steps eight and nine, yay, moving on with recovery is awesome. But for me, I am ruminating about the fact that is the first Father’s Day of my long life that I have ever known who my real dad is/was. I might have mentioned in past blogs that I found out last January. Today, I tried writing him a letter, of course he died in 1974 and of course I’d love to ask him and my mother a ton of questions, but I can’t.
So, what I’m left with is the fact some guy who no one in my whole family has ever heard of is my real biological dad and he died across the country from me. I have two new half brothers and one of them has been very welcoming and kind to me. In fact, he has the same name as my own brother, funny huh? In twenty-one days from now, I will meet them, I’m flying back east to meet the whole clan, Lord be with me, amen.
I know there are many people who have no idea who their dad is or whatever happened to their dad, I am not alone. I guess it’s nothing short of an DNA miracle that I even found out at all before I die. So, I guess there’s a thank you for that. I guess.
Also, there are many people I hear share in the rooms about how violent and abusive their dads were to them, so I am happy I dodged that bullet,( with a real dad, I had a whole bunch of step dads that were not so nice either), but at the same time, it does not change my own sadness and sense of loss I’ve always carried with me in a secret, private way.
Yesterday I attended the funeral of an old friend, that my family and his have had ties with in many different ways over the years. His oldest daughter was my co-worker in the classroom next to mine for about twenty years. He died from a brain tumor. He is only two years older than me, and my husband is eight years older than him. I am so sorry for the family’s loss, he was a great guy, good husband, father, grandfather, person. I thought about how grateful I am to be celebrating another year with my husband and not attending his funeral. You just never know. I will take every single day that I can with him, he is my heart and soul.
All I can say is thank God for God and for the twelve steps and the program. I have had a lot of practice taking life as it comes, accepting what I cannot change and asking for the Lord’s help to change the things I can. I am definitely a one day at a time person and that helps me immensely. I know that God is good, and He only gives me what I can handle at the time.
Like I said, it’s been a week of celebrations and great memories. I love my husband so very much and I’m so grateful to him. I’m a bit confused over the whole “I found my dad thing”, but It’s ok, it is what it is as they say and there’s nothing I can do to change any of it. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. Thank God!
Question of the Week: How was your Father’s Day?
