Blog for September 30, 2024
Honesty: Speaking and acting truthfully, is more than not lying, deceiving, stealing, or cheating. It entails showing respect towards others and having integrity and self-awareness. – Able to be trusted and not likely to steal, cheat or lie. Also- it’s the quality of being fair and truthful.
Honestly, it’s been another busy week, and I suppose that’s a good thing, because it keeps me moving and living an active life. But honestly… I’m ready for a long winters nap! I’ve been trying to keep up with appointments, home improvements, nurturing relationships, work and staff meetings. And right now, all I want to do is come inward, hide, stay home, get stuff done here at my own pace.
But, at the same time, I enjoyed my massage a few days ago and I certainly enjoyed the concert I went to last night with my good friend. It was amazing. But now, I just want to stay home. I’ll turn up the music here while I piddle around the house, organizing and cleaning.
Honesty is the fourth spiritual principle of the twelve listed on my page. And I have strived to be as honest as possible since I started my recovery. I wasn’t very good at it in the beginning, and then I got “too good” at it. I thought I had to be so honest that I became brutally honest as they say. It was a form of showing off my newfound spiritual principle. Isn’t that crazy?! I thought everybody wanted to be as spiritual as me or should be. Lol, what a piece of work I was.
I began to tell people the “truth”. About them and others, I was out of line. It was none of my business and I certainly didn’t need to tell them things like, “that haircut doesn’t really look good on you” or that shirt, dress etc. Or “why are you with that guy? That girl? They are not good for you. Or “haven’t you heard how they treated their last partner”? See, none of that is my business. But shouldn’t I tell a friend if I know that her boyfriend is cheating on her? Where does caring about someone and being worried for them begin or end and it all being none of my business and interfering begin and end? Shouldn’t I be honest with them?
Then there’s cash register honesty. Did I pay my fair share? Did I give the cashier that $5 or $10 or $20 bill back when she gave me too much? Do I say, “you forgot to charge me for this item? Did I pitch in enough for group gatherings, family parties, gas when someone else drives.
Another honesty issue that is new to me is the use of A.I., as a college instructor I am grappling with cheating students. I do not mind that they do some research and use google and internet. However, when their documents turn out to be over 70% or more artificially generated, I am very disappointed and dismayed. The powers that be say it can be used as a tool, but anything over 30% is not acceptable. I am only mentioning this because it has put me in a place where I must figure out how to be true to myself and my standards and not unjustly accuse nor dismiss this behavior. At this time, it is an ongoing issue for me. I think the whole world is in for a big surprise. It will become harder and harder to believe anything is honest and real.
Should I share every thought and movement I make with my husband? With my sponsor? With someone? No, I think that’d be a little much, but I tell you the one I do share every single little thing with, and that’s my Higher Power! And really, I don’t have to tell Him, He already knows every little thing about me. But there is something about talking to Him about my problems, issues, concerns and just the day’s events that keeps me feeling more at peace within myself. It keeps me centered.
I believe the most important thing I need to be honest about these days is my feelings. Not to others necessarily, but to God and myself. I need to be in touch with my feelings, in an honest and real way. If I don’t know what I’m feeling, or what’s going on with me, I may have a tendency to project my repressed feelings and thoughts on others.
Have you ever gotten upset about something, or with someone and have no idea why? They didn’t do anything wrong and the “something” could be anything from an arrogant driver on the road to a table you bump into at home or a glass you dropped. Next thing you know, you are so upset and angry, maybe even yelling and screaming at an innocent person, like your kids.
The thing is, we can have our pain or anger buried deep inside of us, denying it’s there, only to go off on the wrong person. This is why I feel it important to deal with feelings and thoughts as they arise. I don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings and transfer my pain to them, even if I feel it’s justified.
This is why I need to be honest- with myself and my God. “To thine own self be true”. A common phase you hear around Alcoholics Anonymous. And to me, that is self-honesty, self-care, self-awareness. All of that in order to live in my own skin without worry of harming others over my deeply guarded, repressed feelings.
Yes, I will continue to have cash register honesty and honesty with others without being cruel or rude. I will continue to do my daily inventory, aka my tenth step and keep a check on my internal feelings and keep my recovery in check so I do not have reason to relapse. Honesty, as we all know, is indeed the best policy. 😊
Question of the Week: Are you being honest? Especially with yourself?
I found this little piece about honest in business practice I thought I’d add. My husband had his own business before and he was a very honest person, unlike his competitors and therefore, he did not make near the money as them. But he can sleep at night and be at peace with himself and his God.
😊 – which is something I highly value.
Marcus Lemonis of CNBC’s “The Profit” looks for 3 specific types of honest when he evaluates his investment opportunities: Vulnerability, transparency and authenticity.
I think those three things can be used in many situations to maintain honesty.