Blog for October 14th, 2024
Willingness! The quality or state of being prepared to do something. Readiness. The quality of being happy to do something if needed. (eagerness, enthusiasm, compliance) My 6th Spiritual principle.
I just can’t believe what a week it has been. It started with a wonderful little retreat to the cool piney mountains with my beautiful daughter. She took me there for my birthday, and I was very willing to go. I love the mountains. 😊
It was just me and her and the weather was beautiful, the air was fresh. We were mellow and in sync. We didn’t shop or party or anything radical. We drove out to where the eagles can be spotted and enjoyed nature. We just chilled. We ate (too much) She gave me presents, she’s amazing and adorable.
On the way home we talked about a lot of things, one of which was the people we know who have lost children due to fentanyl. A very sad and horrible thing to be sure. That day was actually my birthday, and I was so grateful that my husband had been willing, maybe even eager to make one of my favorite dishes, Chili Verde and he made me a peach cobbler, so so good. 😊
It was later that night I got a text message from one of my nieces. She asked if I was up, and I said yes and she ask me to call. I was afraid it was about my sister. But it was not, it was about my great nephew. He has been struggling with addiction for at least ten years, and that day, my birthday, he lost his battle with it. Fentanyl. Oh my God! No! Why is this dam drug even on the planet!
The next day, I went to see my niece- his mother. She is such a good mom and the sweetest person you’d ever want to meet. Beautiful lady. He is her oldest, she has three more children. And Johnny has a little seven-year girl who wants to know where her daddy is. They were close.
The thing is, I had a doctor’s appointment that day, which is about forty miles from my house and then onto her house is another sixty miles. But I didn’t care, I was willing to make the drive because I felt compelled to go give her a hug. I had to. I’m glad I did.
Losing a child is a pain that is hard to describe unless it’s happened to you and I pray it hasn’t and you will never have to know that unbearable pain. As they like to remind us in times like this, “parents are supposed to die before their children”.
Two days later my husband and I went back down there to her house to give a hug and a check. We were on our way to an NA convention, which we had planned a year ago and where I figured was the best place for us. All of us. Because I am still willing to go to any length for my recovery. I don’t want to get cocky about my clean time and recovery. I still need to tend to my spiritual condition, and I plan to keep doing what I’ve done all my recovery. Go to meetings, work my steps, call my sponsor, help others and give everything to God. Stay surrendered. I am so willing to continue doing this because I know for a fact it’s still not working out there and this is a dangerous world.
The day after I had gone to see my niece, I had a lunch date scheduled with a dear friend. We met up on her lunch break and she spent the whole entire time telling me her fears, issues and concerns. Which is fine, I was very willing to listen and maybe add some direction and ideas for coping with her health issues. I do not blame her for her fears, she does need invasive surgeries and in fact, I’m willing to go with her to the hospital when she has it. But that day, I was in a lot of pain and hurt about my twenty-eight-year-old nephew’s sudden death from fentanyl. I needed to talk too, but that didn’t happen. Not that day.
But that’s ok, I was willing to listen to her and I figured God had me right where he wanted me. Today, when we got back from the convention, I had some work to do and boy was I tired. But then I also had a little sub-committee meeting about the learning day that I am spear-heading for our area. I know this is very needed and very important, so that we can serve our primary purpose and carry the message to the still suffering addict, so that someone else’s son does not have to die from his addiction.
I am still willing to be of service, carry the message and help others learn how to carry the message. I consider this God’s work. In fact, I consider it my purpose. Serving God is of the highest priority but I have a couple of purposes; one is to take care of my husband and love him unconditionally and the other is to still be available to the local fellowship and carry the message. I also teach Drug and Alcohol studies, and I hope that the students I have will learn enough to help them and their families and friends to stay safe.
My other purpose is writing. I also love to encourage, so I try to combine the two purposes with these blogs. God has been so good to me, all of my life, but once I surrendered to Him in the third step, He has been my guide, my compass, my helper and comforter and as long as He is willing to continue doing this with me, then I too will stay willing.
Question of the Week: Are you willing to go to any lengths for your recovery? For others recovery?
