Blog for January 13th, 2025
Priorities
That’s right, “priorities”, regarding something as more or less important than another. Putting things/people/chores in order of importance to attend to. And so it is, I do it, you do it, we all do it, consciously or not. But when I see people not give priority to things which I deem as more important than the thing they do instead, or value instead, I take issue.
I know it’s not my place, or even my right to decide what other people should be prioritizing in their world, but I am stuck on the fact that things like, parenting, good health habits, recovery, work, work ethics, honesty, giving, being kind, considerate and respectful to others are of the greatest importance and deserve top priorities. I’ll throw loyalty into the mix as well.
Why am I even mentioning this topic at this time? A couple of reasons, first, my husband’s big 40th party, I know of a couple of people who did not come because they chose to do something of lesser importance, that’s my opinion. But I feel like it was selfish and disrespectful. I get my feelings hurt when I realize I am not important enough to people I thought loved and cared about me, not to consider my feelings, that’s when I say to myself “I guess I am not important enough to them for them to show up.”
Then there’s this certain young lady that I have tried to befriend here in my area who moved here over a year ago and didn’t know anyone and was new in recovery. It’s been about a year and a half now and I’ve tried to be of some help and support to her along the way and that’s fine, but as we go along, I’m finding more and more inconsistencies with her explanations.
One such thing is not showing up to her commitments and not telling anyone until the last minute that she can’t do it. Which have left us hanging a few times. Finding helpers, people to be of service isn’t easy around here, so we tend to put up with a lot of BS. Nevertheless, I just wonder where people’s priorities lie. I personally set some for myself in early recovery.
I decided early in recovery that my kids are my priorities, they were still young and had been through enough hell with me. I set out to make a living amends to them. My husband is my biggest priority nowadays. My faith and relationship with my Higher Power are of the utmost priority, my recovery, my health, my family, friends, work, caring and carrying the message is of high importance.
My sponsees, sponsor, friends, neighbors are all important to me. However, my husband and kids take precedence over them in a situation where it’s one or the other. I think the point is, being responsible for what I’m responsible for should always be my
priority. And If I make a commitment and say I’ll do something, then I do it to the best of my ability. These are the things that my program has taught me and reinforced. Actually, I was raised like that. But had lost some of my integrity in addiction. Recovery re-taught me, it helped to build integrity and responsibility in me. I think more than I ever had before. So, I guess when I see others not follow that path, I get irritated if it affects me and my people, or innocent people. I think it’s important to do what you say you will do. Not only that, but to show what and who I really value above other things. Personally, that’s very important to me.
And that also goes for what you say you’ll do for yourself. Like exercise, eat right, pray more, spend more time with family and friends, work your steps, go to more meetings. Take a service commitment, whether at meetings, church or community. But if I say I’ll do it, then I’ll give it my best to get it done. I think recovery requires us to set our priorities in order.
God, family and recovery are my top priorities, after that, my health and well-being fall into place. Wherever God leads me. The eleventh step will certainly help with all that.
Question of the Week: What are your top priorities?
