Blog for January 27th, 2025,
Heartaches
I don’t know where to start, it’s been a pretty heart-breaking week, between losing our sweet little dog, and one of my kids not speaking to me, my heart just stays broken. I don’t really know why or what to do. But I’ve done what I’ve been taught to do in my recovery. One foot in front of the other, breath in and out and don’t use no matter what.
Also, I’ve been taught to pray to be of service- to get out of myself. I’ve done all those things. Plus, tried to stay busy around the house and with my job. But nevertheless, the heartache is there. They tell me, “This too will pass”, they tell me, “Trust God”, let go and let God”. “Give it to God, He has this, it will all work out”. My mom used to say that a lot.
I’ve also been taught to work my steps on the problem and to work with others. Write about it, talk to someone who cares about you and your recovery about it. Call your sponsor. Get on your knees. These are the things that I have ingrained in me.
For nearly forty years, these have been my lessons, these are my tried-and-true remedies for the pain and heartache that life has dealt me. I can’t help but think, that one more time, God is taking me through the refiner’s fire. Growing me. Helping me to learn to become more dependent on Him and trust Him completely.
But I must be a knuckle head, I seem to need these lessons over and over. I sure wish I could get it, like He wants me to and avoid some of this pain, but even if I can achieve that, there would still be lose variables in the world to challenge me at random and often. You see life is unpredictable and I just can’t get a handle on perfecting the whole, let go and let God thing, Trust God. I mean I do, but each new heartache can be yet another lesson or maybe an opportunity to get even closer to my Lord.
It’s just, I can’t do it alone. First and foremost, I need Him. And then I need people who care about me to pray for me about it. I need to continue in prayer and learning so I can grow in my spiritual life and hopefully, be of use and help to others, to serve God the way He wants me to.
Like I said, this has been a tough week, I pray that next week I can write about the light and hope I see. By the way, today is my one-year anniversary of the Day of Days. Thank you for that God, amen.
Question of the Week: What do you do when your heart breaks?
