Blog for July 14th, 2025
Throw away, Give away, Put away
The last few days I’ve been working on my bedroom, moving furniture and “stuff”, I had my grandson, and his friend come and move my dresser and other furniture. They helped with the moving and heavy stuff, but I still have a lot of“crap” to go through and deal with. When he was leaving and ask if I needed anything else, I said just prayer that I will either “throw it away, give it away, or put it away”, he said “you got it”.
Since I made that statement it has caused me to reflect on all the things in my life, particularly the things I have thrown away, given away or put away. On some occasions it wasn’t so much a throw or give away as it was, just left it behind and didn’t deal with it. I am sad to think of the baby pictures of my kids and other endearing items that I left in people’s garages because I didn’t know how to go back and get my stuff or where to put it. I was homeless from time to time so I couldn’t go collect it. Things just faded away. So sad.
However, I did drag around a bunch of stuff, and to this day, it’s down there in my shed. Probably ruined, warped, broken, soiled or nearly destroyed. So sad. Meanwhile, I do have all this other stuff I’ve been collecting for forty-four years living in this house. They are what I call treasures and sentimental pieces of my life.
I have yet to start going through those things, I will attempt it this week, pray for me. But like I said, the throw away, give away and put away statement made me think of other things I’ve thrown, given or put away. Like what you ask? Well, relationships come to mind pretty quickly. Some were by choice, either my choice or theirs. Some were by life circumstances, like moving, dying, retiring, marrying, or me getting clean, or them relapsing or just plain changing the paths we’re on.
I had to let go of some people in order to spare my own sanity and stay clean. Some I had to let go of because of how toxic and hurtful they were to me. Some of those have even been relatives, sponsees, and long-time friends in the program or church. Others, I haven’t really let go of, I don’t want to, but we just don’t seem to really cut away the time for each other like I would like to. They are the ones that I guess I have just “put away” for now.
The next big thing that sticks out for me is my character defects, through the process of the twelve steps, I’ve tried to “throw away” some bad attitudes and careless ways I’ve had through the years. Again, some I have simply “put away” and left them on a shelf, unbeknownst to me, until I was ready to “reinvent” them. I tend to pull them out of the blue and quickly let defects like jealousy, anger, fear, gluttony and so on, come out to play for a bit, and always, I end up having to write and pray about it and go to my steps to deal with the issues they have caused me to create. Making amends seem to come with these scenarios. These times of “pulling them off the shelf” get fewer and further between.
I’ve also had to throw away resentments – past and present. I have tried to throw away fears- through prayer and the steps, it’s all about letting go and letting God, but just like those defects, the fears can sneak back up on me if I’m not careful. Fear can be immobilizing and keep me in confusion and despair. My disease loves for me to be in that state, for then, there is a higher probability I may turn to using drugs to comfort myself out of fear and pain.
You can see that there are some things that need to be thrown away, given away and put away in our lives, especially our recovery. What I choose to “give away” is love, experience, strength and hope. I love to share my recovery with newcomers and anyone who may want me to share it with them. I’ve also gotten better at giving away my money, time and ideas. All those things I’ve held onto for dear life, until I finally realized they are no good unless you give them away.
So, I will continue on this week with the memories I’ve collected and have all around my room, but need to be dealt with, “throw away, give away, put away” will be my thoughts as I do so, pray for me.
Question of the Week: What have you “thrown away, given away and put away” in your life, and what’s left to deal with?
