Blog for November 2, 2026
Reassessing Relationships
Not much really happened this week except I stayed home mostly because I was sick. On the day I went out, the sun was shining and it felt great, I had to go get meds and stuff for our sickness, my husband wasn’t doing well either. But I am happy to say we’re both getting better. Because I’ve been down and homebound I have had a little extra time to think and write.. about some of my relationships that do not seem quite right. Sometimes, we might not be able to put a finger on the real issues or even want to admit there are issues.
Yet, as it happened, I started writing the other day and ended up taking stock in a few of my relationships. These are relationships that I care about, and I love all the people that I did this spot inventory on. The best part for me is that I was able to just let go and love them where they are at. The thing about all of these particular relationships is that I am feeling disconnected from these people I love and care about. From the very people who have been such a big part of my life, my recovery. And truthfully, it has been a bit hurtful and disconcerting.
As I wrote, I thought about, prayed about and looked at these situations and I discovered a certain theme with a few of them, they seem to be having some cognitive issues and seem to be incapable of doing more than one thing at a time, or thinking of more than one thing at a time. Which is quite different from the way things have been in the past. They forget to check messages, call back or reach out. This is not entirely news to me, I’ve been noticing it with my BFF, sponsor and some good friends for a while. It’s just that I finally sat down with pen and paper to take a look at why we are so disconnected and the Lord revealed this to me, like I said, really, I already knew it in my heart of hearts.
But now, getting honest and doing a back up and re-group, a “re-think” on these relationships, I have come up with a couple of ideas, of solutions to cope with these issues. First of all, let me say for the millionth time, “acceptance is the answer to all my problems today”. I need to love my friends right where they are at. I’ve already been doing that and watching my expectations. The next solution is to continue to love them, reach out and stay in touch. I may not be able to call and talk about just anything and everything as I have in the past, but I can still send loving and encouraging text and let them know that I am right here.
I fear for the day that I too may forget to call back, reach out and be there for my people. Especially my husband, kids, family, friends, sponsees and even work. But right now, this is where I am, this is where they are. I have felt some relief with my honest inventory of these relationships and with the solutions I plan to implement. Some of the other relationship issues also involve the fact that we have moved on and their lives, perhaps mine as well, have taken a different direction. Things change, people change, move, marry, change jobs, home groups and all kinds of stuff. For whatever reason, here we are, I cannot sit here and be in any kind of self-pity because of who doesn’t reach out anymore. I can pray for them all, love them from a distance and send the occasional text to “check-in” or is it “check-up”? And I will always be eternally grateful for the rich experiences, deep conversations, back-up and support we’ve all given each other over the years, this is invaluable.
I have been beyond blessed to have had all of the relationships I’ve had throughout my life and throughout my recovery. Not all were good, but they all taught me something, they all gave me something, even if it was a lesson on who not to trust. Still, the ones I did do an inventory on this week are all very important to me and I have been feeling the loss, that’s not a good feeling. Yet, my God has me, He always gives me just what I need. I do have some new sponsees who are quite involved and I have family I can count on.
It’s just a re-adjustment time, not letting go, just changing the dynamics a little.
Question of the Week: Have you had to reevaluate any relationships lately?
