December 16, 2019, Monday
We’re gonna get through this right? Of course. But how? With a stressed out, “oh my gosh I have a million things to do” attitude? Or a joyful “Tis the season” attitude? Well, that question is for me. Yes, it’s a busy time of year, and sick kids and special events add to the list that’s for sure.
Yet, as I write this, I’m getting ready to go meet up with a special friend for egg burritos and step work. A moment in the day where we can just talk and be real with each other. We are both in recovery, in fact she is a Sponsee of mine. But we are more than that, we share the same faith and that bonds us as well. She lives about 25 miles away and works at the church my daughter and her family go to. She got to see my beautiful grand-daughter sing a solo last night, I received a video and it was beautiful.
As great as all that is, there are times when I have to watch out for self-pity, poor Me’s and the feelings of isolation. Not to mention, my ongoing, never ending character defect of comparing myself to others. Especially where our homes are concerned. See, I still live in the hood in a small, old house that has nearly 40 years of my crap packed in here and there. The friend I’m meeting has a big, beautiful, spacious house in a private lake community. Jealous? Uh, yes, I am, but I’m happy for her. Her and her husband were so down and out just ten years ago that they were living in a broken-down van! She is amazing at how far she’s come. She is also on break from school right now and she works hard and shares her blessings. We need more people like her in this world. I just love her and I’m happy for everything she gets. It’s just, I wish I had something like that too. But, I don’t and I have to have acceptance, because it is the answer to all my problems (and wants) today.
I’m back from our meeting and working her steps, 8 & 9. Every time I work steps with Sponsee’s it reminds me of my own issues and how to address them. It reinforces my own recovery. That’s why the NA literature tells us “One addict helping another is without parallel”. Indeed, this is so true. If you are a person who works the steps then you know that step eight is about making a list of the people we harmed and having the willingness to make amends to them. Then in nine we make those direct amends- except when to do so would harm ourselves or others. This really makes us take a look at our behaviors and how we treat others, including ourselves!
Tomorrow morning I’ll be meeting with another Sponsee to work on a step as well. We need these times together and we need to support one another. The thing about my Sponsee’s is that they too have Sponsee’s and so on, we are a chain, a family a network of women who speak the same language and find the hope and help that was lacking in our lives prior to our recovery. On one hand, I wouldn’t wish a life of addiction on anyone, it’s hell. On the other hand, addiction led me to a life beyond my wildest dreams. I am blessed and so grateful.
Question of week: Do you have a support group? People who “get you” and are there for you in all your ups and downs of life? If not, what can you do to remedy that?
You can ask questions here also.
Have a great week, enjoy the days leading up to Holidays, keep family and friends close. God bless.