First of all, Happy Veterans day to all, I especially salute those who have served and those who are out in trenches now. For those of us in recovery, we totally understand the gift of freedom and I’m so grateful for mine! Next, I’d like to state a disclaimer about this blog, I’m just getting started with it and I’m not done building it, it’s a slow process, but please hang in there with me. As real life continues to unfold daily I only have X amount of time. I feel this site is going to offer a lot of Experience, Strength and Hope to each other and a support in the days ahead for many who work so hard to maintain their recovery along with maintaining a sane and safe family life. The obvious topic at this time of year is Family and Holidays! There’s much to be said on this topic and I look forward to your comments, insights and input. How do we all get through this often stressful, delicate, sentimental time and keep our own recovery and sanity in tact? When I was new in recovery, back in 1985, I would often triple up on meetings during this time of year, and stay very close to those who supported me in my recovery. We did not have social media, internet or cell phones back then, but we did have land lines, transportation and the love and care of each other with at least one meeting or more a day to attend. Now a days, staying “connected” is so much easier and instantaneous than ever before, making our recovery so much more possible. Now that we are in the midst of the Holiday Season, a wonderful time of year, for family get togethers, bonds to be fortified and memories to be made we will ( or at least I do) reminisce. Not only do I reminisce on my own past holidays and the loved ones that have since passed, but there are traditions I want to share with my children and grand children about “how it was”, minus the drunken, dope infested parts! As well as minus the family fights and discord. I wonder if we could’ve made it all look fun and loving on Facebook?! lol Anyway, I digress. My thoughts were to discuss the stress, disappointments, sadness and feelings of the loss of loved ones that are no longer with us. It seems ( at least for me) that the pain of loss can be heightened during the Holidays. However, I feel that pain shared is pain lessened, so if you have those feelings you can share them here. No one here is a counselor or psychiatrist we are only discussing our own Experience, Strength and Hope ( ESH) and what works for us during those times so that we may be able to uplift others. This can be a shared burden, that will help lighten our load at this time. I know that we get together with family and friends during the holidays to celebrate the occasion itself, however, for me, there is also some element of comfort in the familiar and in being with others on these days. It is a distraction as well as a celebration. There are holidays that most all of my family have gotten together, not just for the celebration of the day, but for the sake of “staying close” and basically mourning together for those we’ve lost. As well as celebrating their lives, we talk about them and bring them along to the function with us. We laugh, we cry, we hug, we heal. This is something I have learned to do in my recovery. There has been much healing in my family. I think this is a good time for a little disclosure, in my family we have lost loved ones due to cancer, violence, drugs & alcohol and so much hurt and pain. I remember holidays that me and my sister Susie would “slip away” and go to the connections or a bar to meet up with a connection and spend way too much time away from our family, our kids, mom, all of them. Most of them were drinking too, but we (Susie and I) were a little beyond just drinking. We had to get higher and higher, after all, it was a celebratory occasion! In fact as far as using drugs goes, I guess you could say we celebrated daily! I’m so grateful I don’t have to leave my family gatherings anymore to go get more drugs. If we ( my husband and I) leave early these days, it’s because of other people using and drinking, not us. Thank-you Lord! During the 80’s my oldest sister, Shirley got clean, after her, many of us – including myself- followed in her foot steps. Not all, but even one life changed affects us all at some level. I’m sure there are many of you out there that can attest to that, if so, I really hope to hear from you. These stories may help others. How do ya’ll intend to spend the holidays this year? Sharing the past can help somebody’s future, maybe your own. Even the good, the bad and the ugly. I hope you all have a great week, this will be an ongoing topic through January. I pray for the best for you and yours. KCB! (Keep Coming Back).