Blog

May 25, 2020

Foundations

     Today is Memorial Day. It was a great day because we joined in on a community rally to help save our local Veterans Home that our governor is threatening to close and there are about two hundred residents living there!  So, the community and a lot of bikers and car clubs from all over the place came and supported our Vets home. 😊

     I didn’t use to think that I needed to be a part of such things, for a long time I only spent my time, energy and money on being of service in my twelve-step program.  At some point I learned- through my program- that it is good to give back in the community you live in and in fact it’s a way of making amends for all the havoc I wreaked in my small town and the world at large.   Basically, I did not have a very good reputation and the things I was known for, were not anything to ever to be proud of in fact, it was a down right embarrassment. 

     Over the many years of my recovery, which, is longer now than the age I was when I got clean and nearly double the years I used. Since then I have been trying to build a new kind of reputation.  I’ve made a few good acquaintances in the community through work, school, church and other organizations I’ve joined along the way.  And although I have moved back and forth in and out of this town over the years, I have been here for over forty years this time.  I went to school in this town and graduated from high school here. After I moved back and got clean I also graduated from the local community college, what a blessing.   

     Which all means, I have built a foundation here, in my community. I have also built a foundation in all areas of my recovery, in my relationships, in my life, in my faith and the way I think and love others.  While life’s circumstances were building a communal foundation for me, weather I mean to or not, when I began recovery, I started a whole new fresh foundation.  It started with working my first three steps.  It evolved into love and freedom. Which, coincidentally is what today is also about. 

     Today, we remember and honor the men and women who have helped to make our country free, the one’s who gave their all and fought for that freedom.  In its own way, recovery from addiction is also a battle, albeit a personal, private battle with many fox holes, grenades and live ammo of its own. It is a maze of unexpected experiences to navigate and learn from. The only way out of it, is through it. And the best way I know through it, is the steps.  This is where I built my foundation.  A house (that would be me) cannot withstand the storms if it is built on shaky ground. 

      First, you need to pick where you will build, be careful where you choose. They tell me if you lay the foundation in the low land, next to a raging river or a turbulent ocean it will be subject to floods and demolition when the storms come. I liken this to trying to build my new life by still being immersed in and around people I used with.  Even if it’s family, as I was guided by the old timers, they said, “you must change your playmates, playgrounds and playthings”.  So, if I set off to build a new life right smack dab in the middle of my diseased old life, then not much will really change within myself. I’d would be constantly influenced by unhealthy and sick behaviors around me.  These are behaviors I’m familiar with, so I don’t know if I’d even notice some of the issues at first, this would be a hard place to grow and build, it’s easy to fall there.

     Second, If you build your house on unsteady ground, it will crumble when the earth shakes. This would be like me trying to change, but holding onto some reservations and old behaviors, one foot in a new life, one foot in the old, slippery behaviors. Third, if you build it on soft sand, it will sink. For me, that means just not really committed.  Pretty much the court card crew, the people who come, look and turn away.  Don’t get me wrong, I know people who came and stayed on a court card, that’s about one if five thousand! There’s no real buy in and plus, addicts don’t like to be told what to do so they will retaliate, and of course, sink.

    The best place to build is on solid rock on the high ground.  Where you can be safe from the floods and see who’s coming towards you. Much like the kingdoms and civilizations of ancient days.  Build your fortress (yes, you can build a fortress) on high ground so you can see your enemies (troubles) coming.   Build it high so you are closer to the heavens, to my source of strength.  Build it so that when the storms come, the earth shakes and enemies approach it will stand strong.  Maybe shaken and tattered, but it will withstand the trials and tribulations. 

     Foundations must be laid in order to build a formidable, strong and healthy structure. This must be done in order to grow, in order to achieve. Laying a good foundation with our children, in hopes they do not have to follow our lead into addiction can help break the cycle of the pain and heartaches. This is done by me first laying a strong foundation and then building my house up so it is full of love, encouragement, creativity, spirituality and comfortable things about us to grow, laugh, make mistakes. We will learn in a safe, healthy environment. I am the one who must begin this process if I want this for them. That will be done by continued work on the steps.

     My first three steps laid a solid foundation for me, Step one breaks it down to – I can’t. Step two- He can. Step three- I think I’ll let him.  In other words, when I understand and know that I am powerless, then I can see things a bit more clearly and begin to understand my place in the world.  When I discover that I have been acting irrationally, a bit insanely through the use of drugs, then when I know and understand that, I see my insanity in the whole deal and can admit it. Also in step three, I find that I need to let it go.  To give my will and life over to care of a Power greater than myself of whom I choose to call God. 

     Since I have done that, with my whole heart and all sincerity, it has given way to a whole new life for me.  My thinking for one, began to open and see that the way I was living was absolutely not healthy and caused harm, not just to me, but to my kids and others around me.  I was blind to my self-centered self and clouded by my own actions, it was, as our literature says, insidious.  I get that now.  I get that now because of the foundation that I laid with those first three steps.  Thank God!

     After that foundation was laid, I could then work on the basics of my relationships with my husband and my kids and the world around me. It’s been a journey I tell ya, but so worth it. Continued work on my steps is the building of the actual house, we will have a part three regarding that subject later.  More is still being revealed as our program said it would. 

Question of the Week:  Have you laid a strong and healthy foundation? Did you pick solid ground to lay it on? 

If so, where are you in the building of your structure? Aka Your recovery?

If not, you can always start again. 😊

Resources:

Matthew 7:24

Living Clean (the Journey continues) P. 29 – “The answers we find help to resolve our new reservations, and the security to question our foundation is part of the secret to solidifying it for a lifetime”.