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Blog June 1, 2020

Choices

     Well, when God laid this topic on me for this week, the whole thought process was about how we are opening up our country after the nearly three months of quarantine. But now, we’re being told once again to stay home, to stay safe from the protesting and rioting because of the looting and stealing and hurting people.  I am just as livid about George Floyd as everyone else. This is such a sad, horrible time. 

      I had planned to discuss our choices about going to public places, sending kids back to school this August and everyone back to work.  We were easing into it as more and more business were opening.  I have heard of a couple of meetings starting to meet again.  Our kids are starting to visit and play with their friends and cousins.  Yet, not everyone has to do the same thing at the same time.  We have choices.  We can pick and choose when and where we go.  Wear a mask, don’t wear a mask, be mindful of others. 

     The beginning of my recovery was all about choices. Choices help us feel in control of our decisions and they also set us up to be responsible for the outcomes, good, bad or indifferent. 

     When faced with the choice of going to my first meeting, I was very nervous and apprehensive, but I went.  I think my sister and maybe others were praying for me. In fact, a friend that I had used with was at that first meeting and told me she’d been praying for me.  I was like, “really? Why?”  lol, that’s how out of it I was.  It freaked me out to hear someone was praying for me.  Nevertheless, I made the choice to go to that first meeting and to keep going back. 

      As I got deeper and deeper into my recovery, I had more and more choices to make, the choice to stay clean was a daily choice and actually it still is, even though I’m miles from where I started, the choice is still mine.  Contrary to when I am using, I have lost all ability, rights and thoughts to make my own decisions, the drugs make my decisions for me.  The drugs tell me where to go, who to go with, when to go and leaves me practically no control over my mouth, my actions, my dreams or goals- which had all flown out the window the minute I picked up.

     As I said, the deeper I got into my recovery, the more and more choices I had.  I had to make choices about getting married to my boyfriend I’d been living with the past four years. I made choices about learning to become a better parent, a better daughter, sister, aunt, friend and eventually sponsor.  Because I had made a choice to “work the program” aka, work the steps and go deeper into discovering who I was, why I used and clean up my wreckage.

     Recovery offers its own set of choices, it’s not a one-time thing, or a there ya go, now I done it boom! I’m clean and in recovery and that’s the end of it.  Uh no, no it’s not, it’s only the beginning.  Now we’re at the spot where most people already had a life going of making decisions that would benefit them for life. Now it’s our turn. Some of the decisions I made, after I got clean and decided to go to meetings and work the 12 steps.  Then to be of service and give back what was being freely given to me, then the whole, be a better parent and partner. I went to other groups, read books and talked to my sponsor and friends about this.   Then I went back to work.  I was a much better employee than I had been before recovery.

     I made smaller choices too, like, put the shopping cart back. Pick up the trash I seen in our halls at work.  I tried to drive the speed limit, I’m almost there- most of the time. I have a pretty fast car, lol.  Bigger decisions are not lying, stealing, cheating and to be trustworthy.  To keep confidences and to nurture my important relationships, especially the one with my Higher Power, that’s my most important relationship.

     I’m here today watching the news about the rioting and I see the choices that some are making to destroy other people’s property and endanger more and more lives.  I have also seen many people doing peaceful protesting, even though they are angry. Those are the adults in the group, the brave and the healthy ones.  We all have to decide what’s important to us and what our values and beliefs are and what we will stand for.  I do not believe it’s a stretch to say that most all people want peace and justice.  Yet, there is always a few around us that want revenge and mayhem. 

     So many choices in this world.  Our day to day existence calls for a choice of what will we wear and eat, where will we work, how will we treat our co-workers and family.  How will we raise our children? How will we break the chain? How will we love? How to love our family, friends, neighbors and ourselves? 

    To be sure, there are many people on our planet who do not get to choose how or where they will live, where they will work and what they will wear and eat.  They have no choice. The fact that we do, is already a magnificent blessing.  This is our chance folks, to make better and healthier decisions that will change our lives for the better and for our kids and family around us. 

     Sometimes, once we make a decision, we feel locked in and its full throttle, pedal to the metal and let’s do this thing!  But it’s ok to try something new and if it’s not working out for you, you can make another decision and change it up.  Follow your heart and do what you are called to do.  It’s a process.  

     My hope and my prayer are that you are faced with many choices, so many that you have to stop and consider your best options and best fit.  Choices that bring you closer to being a healthier happier you.  Choices that help you lead your family into that same happier, healthier place, so they too can grow up to make healthier decisions. 

     The choice is yours.  It always has been.

Question of the Week:   Do you have an important decision to make?  How do you choose the right options for you?

Did you make some decisions that you wish you hadn’t? Do you know you can decide to change that?   It’s all up to you to decide. – I think I hear a Bob Segar tune in there somewhere!