| Forgiveness: October 5, 2020 This week has been very interesting around here. My grandson was accused of hacking into an online class across town. He said he didn’t do it and I believed him. We did find out who did it, a “friend”. The “friend” ended up calling to apologize. My Bubba told him that he forgives him and we told him we love him. I am so proud of this little boy and big heart. He taught me a lesson that day. Also, this week, God presented me with an opportunity to clear the air with a lady in recovery I’ve known for a while, had a resentment towards for things I heard she said about me years ago. We talked, and both of us made apologies and forgave one another. I am amazed at how God works in our lives. On Saturday we also did a kind of “drive by” on another old friend of whom we’d had a falling out with. We talked across his fence and gave our love and support to him & his wife; he is battling cancer and was so thin. Once again, God doing for us, what we cannot do for ourselves. The healing is happening! Forgiveness is key I tell my sponsees. I believe it. Way back in my early recovery, about five years clean I think, I went to get outside counseling. She was awesome and gave me a book about toxic parents and forgiving them. Wow! That book was such an eye opener to me. Although it’s not easy to forgive people for harm they cause children and innocent people, it becomes necessary to the best of our ability.  Well, the whole thing is, it’s not to the best of my ability exactly, it’s what I give to God. I have to ask Him to help me do this. By myself, I will hurt someone, and in turn, that continues to hurt me. I caught onto the idea that to forgive our perpetrators releases us from continuing to live with the hate and pain they caused. Which keeps them alive and well in our head and heart. As long as we don’t forgive, we can’t move forward.  Now, this may take a whole lot of prayer, a professional therapist, a clergyman, a sponsor and a good friend to get through. But the release and freedom you feel afterwards is worth it. It’s like completing the ninth step. There is a freedom and a weight lifted off like no other. Holding a grudge, like I did with this other lady, is not only harmful to me and to our relationship – of which I didn’t care if I had one with her or not for many years, because I didn’t see her or deal with her for over ten years. When she did start coming back around I was being kind of phony with her, but acting like everything was cool, when it’s not. She said to me during our talk on Saturday, “I didn’t know you felt this way, so I wonder if it will change anything?” I told her, oh, yes it would. Because I knew I was holding back. Now, I will be more genuine with her and the hugs will be more heartfelt. I actually need to have a couple more conversations like that I need to have, I already have forgiveness in my heart towards them, it’s just I want to clear the air and be real with them. I don’t do this with everyone or every little issue. Only when it keeps coming back to bug me. Only when I’m feeling that nudge from my God. I strive to be an upfront and honest person, to do different disrupts my balance and my spiritual walk. I pray that if you have deep pain from childhood or bad relationships that were harmful, you will seek out the help you deserve. I pray that if you just have some of these nagging little indifferences with others you will make room for some honest discussion and healing. Again, I only do this if I feel the relationship is worth having. Some people are not meant to be my friends and that’s ok. I try to be nice to everyone, but if we don’t jive, we don’t jive and I give them to God and move on. After all, my Higher Power forgave me, He shows me mercy and love. I think I can try to pay that forward, only with His help! He’s the ultimate forgiver!  Question of the Week: Is there someone you need to forgive? Don’t forget to forgive yourself!  ReplyForward |
