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January 25, 2021 Blog

     Anything is possible! Isn’t that what they say? Yes, some say that.  Others say “If something can go wrong, it will.” I think that’s Murphy’s law, lol.  Just for today, I’m gonna lean into the “anything is possible” thought.   If I can think it, dream it, envision it, I can do it.

     If you’ve been clean and in recovery a while, do you remember the weeks before you got clean and starting your total life make over?  Do you remember how desperate and sick you were?  Or maybe, that’s where you’re at right now. If you are, never forget how you’re feeling right now. 

     During the time before we get clean, we might have pockets of thoughts of how life could be.  We (me) might think thoughts of “maybe if I don’t use for a few days I can pull myself together and get some money to give to the landlord (or whoever) so I have a place to stay for a while, feed the kids, get to feeling better.” We might have moments where crazy thoughts come in that tell us, we don’t have to live like this and it may be possible to live life without the use of drugs, if even for a little while.

    The cool thing is, for some, if the time is right, we might have a “spiritual awakening” while we’re off the stuff for a couple days and remember how we don’t have to live like that.  We may remember about the help we heard about.  A treatment center, an old friend who got clean and told us to call when we’re ready. Or maybe we heard about going to a meeting.  We might remember when we’d been court ordered to meetings and so, we do know where to go. But, would that really help?  Just going to a place with other dope fiends to talk about drugs? How on earth could that help we ask ourselves.

     At some point, something happened, a voice inside us, a voice outside of us, like a judge, a cop, a spouse, a friend, a stranger, a doctor, something or someone who had spoken to us.  And we knew we had to try.  Anything was possible.

     As for me, once that decision was made and the “light came on”, I started to think of all kinds of possibilities.  That caused me to get excited and fearful.  I was mostly afraid of becoming responsible. I kinda already was, but not really.  I had held it together enough to keep getting welfare, I thought that was pretty responsible of me. Lol.  And I still had my kids, (I had threats of them being taken away) I thought that meant I was doing good. Even though I’d been homeless with my kids from time to time in my addiction, at the present time I was living in a house, with a guy, and we were nearly seven months in the rears of paying rent.  The drugs came first.

     Was it possible for such a wretch like me to pull it together and find a new way to live?  Heck ya it was possible!  Just don’t pick up today.  One day at a time works well on me.  For quitting using drugs, (in the beginning I did one hour at a time, or one minute) for getting through quarantine, school, anticipations and all kinds of situations.  It has worked very well on me.  In fact, I’m still one day a timing it, 35.9 years later. How is that even possible?

     Once I was clean and in recovery and lifted my head up and looked around, I seen the possibilities coming at me from left and right. The first most wonderful and miraculous thing that happened to me was marrying my husband.  Already I had been with him longer than any other relationship (four years). Anything over a couple of weeks was a long time!  I only had three months clean when we married, but it was the best decision I ever made in my recovery/life.  Not always easy, we both had to learn to work a program and trust God, and lean on our sponsors, but we’ve done pretty well so far. 

     It was possible to go back to school and get a degree, a good job, raise my kids right, be a part of my family and life. Achieve my goals and dreams and become who God had intended me to be. 

     Writing was always a dream of mine, as long as I can remember.  I loved to write, poems, stories, songs, anything. I went back to school with that idea in mind, but life took me on a different journey for a while, (be flexible) I never thought it possible I could be a school teacher.  And at the very school I started kindergarten at. Wow! And my kids went there too. I never thought it possible I would be teaching at the college I graduated from, but I do. For over 22 years now.  How is that possible?

     I dreamt of seeing the Sistine chapel since I was 12, guess what? In 2014 I got to see it with my grandson (who has never seen me high, none of my grandkids have) and my best friend. To me, this was a miracle.  Anything is possible, once you get clean and stay clean. It’s simple to have all the impossible dreams come true, just don’t pick up one day at a time, don’t use no matter what, work the steps, be of service. Live your best life. 

     I personally believe, for me that the third step is what kept me clean, help me to see and achieve untold possibilities.  Like, having a good relationship with my husband, kids and family, making so many awesome memories with my grandkids. Being an asset in my community and fellowship.  Step three required me to turn my will and my life over to my Higher Power, and wow! What a complete difference that made in my whole life. 

     Pursuing my faith, trusting my God and daily giving my will and life to Him has made all the difference.  With Him, anything really IS possible!

Question of the Week:  Is there something you would like to do, achieve, accomplish but think it’s impossible?  Think again. 😊