My blog for March 22, 2021
Changes
As we all know, my state and country has changed from the purple tier to the red tier. In my state, that is a good thing, a real good thing. The number of covid cases and deaths are way down! Yay! Thank-goodness for the vaccine!
The weather is changing, today is the first full day of Spring! Yay! Trees are getting green leaves, soon flowers will be budding. The kids are starting to go back to school, in our town, it will start about April 12th, kinda. Things are changing for the better, in some places, in some ways.
I went to a church yesterday to say goodbye to some people and it was sad, then I came home and learned that our pastor is also stepping down. They all have some good things going on and the change will do them all good. But change can often take us (me) some getting use to.
Getting clean brought on the biggest change of my entire life! And it was only the first step in a whole string of changes that came with that decision. So many changes, mostly all good. The not so good was in the relationship department. Some of my dearest friends and family would have nothing to do with me when I got clean, as if I did something mean to them. That hurt, but I wasn’t about to start using again for anyone or any reason. My heart and mind were already in a transition of change and it was time to move on.
I think of all the changes we ever face in life; health and relationships are the toughest changes of all. People come and people go. They take my emotions on a roller coaster ride and you (I) have to constantly re-adjust in order to handle all the lost. There are births too, these are our happy changes and additions to the family, babies bring new hope and new life to the family.
I think our whole country, maybe even the whole world is in a metamorphosis of changing. Of learning more tolerance, acceptance of one another’s difference and I hope kindness and love will prevail through the turbulent times. Some might need to change their attitudes towards people who are not “just like them”.
People moving, or just plain growing apart from each other is sometimes hard to adjust to as well, especially when you can’t find an apparent reason. Pain- is a great motivator for change.
Changing our attitudes, our desires, our wants, likes and dislikes, goals and dreams can be in a constant flux. They told me when I first got clean that the one thing you can count on around here is change. Boy, they weren’t lying.
Kids come and go; those cute babies grow up and go their own way too. Sometimes, the adult children decide we’re not their cup of tea and quit talking to us, that’s a most painful change. We don’t pretend to act innocent of all charges, but give me a break already!
I told my husband a couple of days ago that there is “change in the wind”, I had no idea when I said that just how much. Another friend passed away last night, a dear, sweet, loving lady. Her daughter and I have the same clean date, just a year apart. And her daughter and I have had our paths cross in many different ways. Her husband was a mentor to me as I began working at the college, he passed away in December from Covid. I fear this is too much loss for my friend right now. I wish I could change that for her.
But alas, I have no control and cannot change the fate of others. I can however, because God gave me the freedom to do so, I can control me, with His help I can make positive changes. I can make changes to my diet, my exercise, my environment, my attitude and change my thinking and behaviors through working a program. That means going to meetings (even if it’s on zoom) working my steps, staying in contact with my sponsor and others in recovery.
Change is inevitable, death is inevitable, some times very disagreeable things happened out of our control. Yet, I can stop and change my perspective and get a handle on me, my attitude. I have found that Step one is very helpful at these times, because, in my powerlessness I have found power. When I give up trying to control and change things that I just can’t change, I find that my Higher Power is standing ready, willing and able to take that load from me and He is much more capable than I.
I’m still working on a lot of changes within and about myself, i.e., my diet, exercise, faith, home, relationships, my understanding of God’s will and my understanding of my loved ones. So much more to learn and do, it will never stop, I know that. I can’t change you, them, this, that or anything else, just me and my thinking and behaviors, and again, only with the help of God.
Question of the Week: Are there any changes you need to make? Have you been through some hard changes lately?
PS- as I wrote this, I kept hearing that old David Bowie tune, “changes”, “ch,ch,ch changes” lol and so I looked up songs about change and I must say, my favorite was Christina Aguilera’s called “Change” it’s really good. It came out in 2016, but it’s perfect for our world today. I’m always down for the philosophy of “you be you and I’ll be me.” I also found a poignant song by Justin Bieber called “Changes”, that one is all about him and that’s cool. And then there’s another old song by Rod Stewart, ”So soon we Change” & “I wouldn’t change a thing” plus “The changing man”- he’s really into change eh? and Bob Dylan’s tune “things have changed” is pretty good. Big Sean “One man can change the world”. I love that at the end he tells his grandma he loves her. And wow, Rascal Flatts song “Changed”, super good. Last, but not least, Aretha Franklin “A change is gonna come”. Woe!!! Classic, timeless and meaningful. I love Beth Harts version also, dam! There are others, check the out on YouTube.