My Blog for July 12th –
The Family Legacy
I don’t even know where to start. It’s been a very busy and eventful week. Lots of adventures. The biggest and best one being our family reunion. It was months in the planning and for the most part, all went well. On our “event” page, only nine said they were coming, but actually over 50 came! For some reason, a lot of people don’t like to decide what they will do until the last minute. I’m not one of them in these cases.
I will tell you this, I love my family so much and we were blessed beyond measure this last week. The love, healing and bonding that we had is priceless. As I’ve told you all before, our family has been through so many trials and tribulations. But we have a tendency to pull together and get through those very difficult times. Laughter has been key in our lives, all of my life. My sisters and I laugh and laugh. My brother is a real fun guy too. We always have a good time together.
Now, as we have dwindled down from five to three siblings – and we are aging, it is time to let go and let our legacy continue with our children and children’s children. From what I have seen of most of my family, the legacy of those of us who have gotten and stayed clean has paid off immensely. Not just for those of use getting clean, but for those of us who have put trust and faith in the Almighty to guide and rule our lives.
So, what I’m trying to tell you is that this recovery works and has a great pay off. Our kids and grandkids have a much better chance in this world because of our decisions for a healthier life. Our reunion was about four or five days long and it was great. I got home Friday late afternoon and the next day I went to two more family events, yes, I’m tired now. But my heart is full. Without my recovery, I doubt I would be alive, much less able to attend such family functions. I am so grateful for this life, my prayer is that you all will choose your right path, which is found in abstinence of drugs and alcohol- if you are addict or alcoholic.
We do have drinkers and pot smokers in our family still and of course, a few that use meth and other junk. We will love them through it as best we can. Still, we have wonderful success stories as well, one of the family functions yesterday was for my great nephew who just graduated from UCLA and is on his way to Duke law school! Wow! That just doesn’t happen in our family. I also have an awesome grandson in medical school, both of these young men are kind, humble, gracious human beings and that alone is enough to adore them.
As I lay in bed last night, it occurred to me that we had several college graduates there. I remember a time in my family that if you graduated high school, especially on time with your class, you were considered a phenomenon! Or even got a GED. It was rare. Then, next thing I know, we started getting college degrees, I was the first of my siblings- thanks to God and 12 steps of NA. Then, our kids started graduating right and left and several have gone onto college. Wow! And they all live much better, happier lives for it. They are not on Welfare like we were and kept held down into oppression, until we broke the curse and the chain of dependency.
One time, my sister Susie and I were having a conversation about the family curse, we felt it and we knew it for many years and then after I got clean and was reading in the Old Testament of the Bible I told her I found out that yep, we’re cursed and it goes on and on for generations, we were like “crap”!
But at some point, with a lot of hard work, effort and surrender, we began breaking the “curse”, about two generations ago and now, the family legacy is in a much more stable and healthier position.
I have nephews and nieces who have been clean and in recovery for over thirty years. They too are sweet and kind, especially the ones who were in gangs and in and out of jail. Something so humbling about being clean and in recovery- IF, you are in it for real. What a blessing my family is, what a blessing our week was. Their recovery and change of life style are evident in their own children’s lives, it is remarkable the change of direction our family taken.
As I write this, my brother and sister-in-law are traveling back to Texas, from California, and my niece and her awesome little girl flew out yesterday. Memories were made that will last a life time. Thanks to God and twelve steps. The little ones, like my precious grandson I am raising, have met their 3rd cousins and played and bonded and now know each other much better and will have a lasting memory. And hopefully, more good times ahead with each other and their families as they grow.
Family legacy is probably the most valuable thing we can ever have on this planet, in this life time. Cherish your people, cling to them and to God. The world is wacked right now and no matter where you come from, family is vital. There’s something about being with them that is undeniable. So often, we don’t even need words to communicate and tend to “get it” when we’re telling it other our thoughts and feelings about something. With my family, we laugh at the right time, cry at the right time, sit still and become reflective and feel our feelings at the right time.
I’m just gonna say it straight out, I thank God and NA for this last week, for these last 36 years and for my awesome family. My sisters Judy and Susie knew this. They were proud of my decision to get clean and change my life. They were my support. They left an undeniable legacy in their beautiful children and grandchildren, for which I am forever grateful.
Last night as I was driving home from my nephews graduation party I was holding back the tears thinking of Judy, still- and of Susie and I said out loud ( I was alone in my car) “you left me”! and then I thought about their kids, and I said, “you left me your kids and grandkids to love and be with, you left me love. You left me kindness and memories, you left me a full heart. You left me lessons and ideas that will not soon be forgotten.”
I also have friends in the program that are like family to me and there is the same bond with them as well. The legacy of my recovering friends and of my biological family is undeniable. God is good on all these accounts.
Question of the Week: What kind of Family Legacy are you leaving? What will you and your family be “left” with?
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