Blog for November 29th, 2021
What’s familiar to you? Who’s familiar to you? Are your familiar things, family, friends, occasions something you can count on? Something you value and care for? Do your familiar things bring you happiness, contentment, warm fuzzy feelings? Maybe some of your familiar things bring struggles and emotional pain, fear and loathing.
Because sometimes, when there comes a point and time that we have to let go of what’s familiar to us, even the difficult things can be very hard to let go of. That reminds me of the Stockholm Syndrome: A condition in which hostages develop a psychological bond with their captors during captivity. Stockholm Syndrome results from a rather specific set of circumstances, namely the power imbalances contained in hostage-taking, kidnapping, and abusive relationships.
You may not have been kidnapped by a crazy person, but sometimes it feels like a hostage situation in certain relationships, jobs and even unto ourselves. We can box ourselves in and get stuck in a rut, of the familiar and our day in, day out routines. It may be a drudgery to some. It may be complete contentment to another, but either way, it’s familiar.
Then there’s the familiar that we are torn between, something we want changed, we want it or them to be different, but can’t stand to part with it, or them. We are stuck in the familiar.
Addiction is like that; it was so hard for me to quit doing the one thing I thought was actually helping me through life. I could not cope without a daily dose. I didn’t want to do life without the use of drugs. Even though they were making me sick and crazy, it was familiar to me. And when I hit the combination just right, the drugs were a comfort to me. Of course, this was a lie, a false sense of being ok. But at least it was familiar.
These days, most of the things in my life that bring me comfort are for real. My faith is top of the charts, my husband, kids, grandkids, family, friends and my home. I am comfy in my home and yes, it certainly is familiar, I’ve lived in it forty-one years. There have been many times I’ve wanted to move, live in a place with nearby water, green trees and a cooler climate than where I live. But day after day, year after year, I am still here. It is indeed familiar.
I do love the familiar traditions of the holidays and the memories they bring of loved ones that are gone, holiday parties with my most loved and endeared people of all time. I do get nostalgic and sad at times. I believe the word is wistful.
And yet, we are still building memories and creating new familiar traditions as more and more grand babies, great grand babies, in-laws and new friends come into our lives. They are all very welcomed additions. The more the merrier, for sure!
So, is it ok to stay in the familiar and feel comfortable and peaceful? I would say yes, but if the familiar is neither comfortable or peaceful, then no. Then it is definitely time for a change. I say hang on tight to what brings you smiles, contentment, love, warmth, satisfaction and comfy – cozy feelings. If not, then it’s time to pull yourself out of that familiar rut or that painful familiarity and choose a better way to live.
Making new familiar habits for myself was quite the challenge. Deserving such love and giving such love that I hadn’t been familiar with was a whole new world. Self-care, giving back, service to others, loving the unlovable and doing what I can for my people was new and different, but the greatest of these is love, and it has now become my familiar. 🙂
Question of the Week: Are you happy in your familiar? Or are you stuck in a rut?
