July 4, 2020
Freedom– noun 1. The power or right to act, speak or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. We do have some freedom of choice.
2. Absence of subjection to foreign domination or despotic government.
3. The state of not being imprisoned or enslaved.
JFT- “In our addicton, we were dependent upon people, places and things. We looked to them to support us and supply the things we found lacking in ourselves”. Basic Text, p. 67
JFT – “Narcotics Anonymous offers only one promise and that is freedom from active addiction, the solution that eluded us for so long.” Basic Text, p. 102
Today is the Fourth of July. Independence Day, a day we typically celebrate USA’s birthday and our freedoms in our county. Yet, we’re still on lockdown, still can’t meet in groups, go to festivals, parks, restaurants and they ask that we don’t have large family and friend events. But yet, many people are going to places with large crowds. Like casino’s, protests, rallies, parties and the like. So, there ya have it, we do have freedoms, even in quarantine. We (my husband and grandson) prefer to stay safe as the cases of Covid-19 rise exponentially in our area. This is our choice. We have other friends and family that are just plain sick and tired of having to quarantine and so, they will be having celebrations and gatherings.
Yet, even though we’re asked to stay home, stay safe, wear masks and distant ourselves, I still feel like I have some choices. I can violate all those governmental requests if I want to take the chance. I can go down to the local liquor store and buy something to drink that’ll make this all go away. For a little while, until I come to again.
So therefore, today, my freedom boils down to my choices. I can get drunk, I can get loaded, the drugs are easy to find, that crap is all around me. I can stay in a state of fear, anxiety, depression, anger over these circumstances. I get to choose. It’s that simple.
This Fourth of July I’m gonna pretty much do what I did last year. I already spent some of the morning cleaning and organizing. Now I get to write, which I love, then we will BBQ some dogs and hamburgers, swim, get ready and drive into town to see the Fireworks, if we can. Even if we can’t get out of the truck and socialize with others, we can still feel a part of our community by watching the fireworks together with them. I love that about our little town.
I’ve heard it said that Freedom is a state of mind and no one can take it from you, not even if you are locked up. We are free unto ourselves. My Higher Power has set me free; my recovery has set me free and I choose not to bend to the will of angry, hateful, selfish, self-serving riotous people. I just want to be me. Nothing more- nothing less.
If you are having a hard time this Independence Day due to all the restrictions we are facing and the political unrest in our country, remember, if you keep your recovery and faith intact, God will surely see you/us through this time of uncertainty. We have an obligation to our families, our friends, Sponsee’s and others that are depending on us to stay the course. Hold onto your freedom to choose, if we get drunk or loaded behind this party day, this lockdown, this unrest, then we have not only lost our ability to make healthy and good choices for ourselves and families, we’ve also lost us and our connection to our Higher Power. Maybe not entirely, but I remember that when I am using, I am not concerned with what God wants for me. I put Him aside.
I love my freedom! My freedom to choose, my freedom to fight, talk, walk, be. My freedom to decide, what I want to do with my life, my freedom to have my own pain, or my love. My freedom to work steps, go to meetings, grow in my recovery. I’m even free to clean my house, have a BBQ, watch fireworks, go swimming, yes, all the simple ordinary stuff. Some people don’t get to have these simple freedoms.
Still, once I’m high, the simple things become too big of a chore and a waste of time, at least in my mind. My utmost favorite freedom is to worship in the faith of my choice. Then there’s voting, schooling, work, travel, meetings, staying clean and in recovery. One of my most favorite freedoms is be careful with my mouth, my words. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
With freedom comes responsibility. Yes, I have a house, but I’m the one who has to keep it clean and pay the bills. It’s ironic how freedoms can come with its own restrictions. I am free to be clean and in recovery, but in order to maintain that, I must work a program and go to meetings. It’s still a choice. Not all clean and sober people “work a program” or go to meetings. Not all people of faith go to their churches, synagogues or mosques. They are all free to choose. At least in this country. I’m so grateful to be a citizen of the USA.
So Happy Birthday America, I hope you all enjoy your freedom and the day, the week-end, even though it’s a bit different this year. We still have choices. God Bless ya’ll.
Question of the Week: What do you cherish the most about your freedom?