It’s none of my business: Or is it?
As a grandma in recovery, I have had the sorrow of watching some of my grandkids start using drugs. The whole reason I started this blog back in 2019 was because we had begun raising our youngest grandson due to his parents going off the rails with their addictions. Being a drug addict myself, yet, in recovery, I recognize many of the issues my kids and grandkids have to go through in their own addiction. It is a difficult place to try to be a loving, comforting, caring grandparent and also the parent who has to make them do homework and toe the line at the same time.
That sweet, heart broken little boy that we took in back in 2013 is now headed down the same road as his parents, and grandparents have gone down. It is so heartbreaking to watch, but we all know, I cannot change his path, or what he does. He will be seventeen this summer with just one more year of school, and I’m trying to stay positive about him making it. In fact, all of his life I’ve tried to stay positive and encourage him to choose a much better path for himself, a higher path if you will. A path that includes God and trusting Him throughout his life and the choices he will be having to make.
Yet here we are almost to the summer of 2026, and I am trying to trust God myself and not worry myself sick about his using. I understand there is a new way to smoke pot, in a pen and it’s 40% -80% more potent and highly toxic than the old way when we used to roll a joint and smoke it. His attitude has shifted and my least favorite thing, “disrespect” is rearing its ugly head. Of course, at sixteen, he knows it all. I know I did and you did too, don’t lie. Lol
Here’s my thing, knowing all this and knowing I need to trust my Higher Power, my God and let my grandson learn what he needs to learn in life is much easier said than done. I am having a hard time with this new “orderless” pot pen thing and his denial. I know for a fact there is a lesson here for him, but there is also one for me. I heard the old refrain, “mind your own business” lately and I thought, yes, I sure would love to, but a child legally in my care, at least for another fourteen months, still needs guidance, support and adult supervision at this point. Especially one making not so smart or healthy decisions. In fact, these decisions can turn fatal if he’s not careful. We already have loved ones that have died from taking drugs laced with fentanyl. I hear about it all the time on the news. I do not want my grandson to be another statistic.
It may not be any of my business, but if not, then what is? Is it not my business to help, direct, encourage, guide and teach a minor in my custody the evils of drug use. For those of us who have survived it, we know the horrors of addiction and the life of degradation they will possibly be facing. So, as this is a time of testing for him, it is also a time of testing for me, one more time. Which I am sick and tired of going through. It never ends in the life of addicts, does it? Recovering or not.
Still, I have to ask, is it any of my business if I stand there and watch a person, a child a spouse, anyone being beaten, hurt and cussed at? Is it any of my business if I am driving down the road and come upon a car crash where people are hurt and I drive by and do nothing? Is it any of my business if I see someone stealing, in a store or a neighbor’s house? What if I hear or see someone who is cheating on their S.O. What if I see someone trying to commit murder or suicide? At what point does something become any of my business? At what point is it ok if I interfere?
Well, I’ll tell ya, in my day I have interfered in most all of those situations. Or when we are in an ER and someone is crying and hurt, I will try to give comfort if I’m able. I can’t help it. I do understand when things are none of my business, even with my kids, family, sponsees, friends, neighbors. In a given moment sometimes, we have to determine if it is or isn’t any of our business. There is a motto, or rather a request going around that says, “if you see something, say something”. Maybe not in the middle of crime being committed that would put you in danger but at least get a description or use your phone and alert the police. We all must do what we can to make this a better, safer world. To help one another in times of crisis. Which leads me back to my grandson’s pot pen. He may not be in crisis yet, and when he is, as most of us have been, will he even notice it?
By then we are so far gone we don’t understand our circumstances, we think we’re fine. OMG, “fine”, you know, “f-d up, insecure, neurotic and emotional”. In other words, not good. This is why and how “interventions” became a popular and common thing to do. I have led a few of them and they have all worked, at least for a while if not longer. It is a start and gives them a start. Still, bottom line, recovery is up to the addict, no one can do it for them. I wish I could. Maybe my sister, nephews, and others would still be alive.
It’s probably none of my business, but I just love and care for people and want them to be well and safe. I do apricate the whole “mind your own business” concept because it keeps other people’s drama away from me. I do a pick and choose kind of thing. I am pretty good at “letting go and letting God” when it’s not a loved one. I do not bite into everyone’s problems, issues and drama. Not even my sponsee’s, I love them, give my advice and thoughts when they ask and let the rest go. I got plenty of my own crap to pray over.
Question of the Week: Are you minding your own business, or should I ask? Lol.
