Blog for July 13, 2026
What to do when you want to quit
Lately, I have been feeling like quitting. I told my sponsor, my BFF and my husband. Looking for input and suggestions. They did the best they could, relating to me and letting me know that they go through that too. Me too. I’ve been here before, it’s not new, except it feels a little deeper. And I think I mean it this time. Yet, I know that’s probably not quite right. I should not give up. Maybe just back up and regroup. That’s pretty much what an old timer, Alex with 53 years clean.
Yes, I reached out to someone with more time than me who still shows passion and enthusiasm for recovery and others in NA. I marvel at that. I get so tired of it all, hearing the same ol, same ol at meeting after meeting, year after year and the lack of people who care and serve. The people who are here with ulterior motives, like dating (manipulating needy, hurting people who just want to be loved) and taking from those who are trying to help others out of their gratitude. Then there’s the ones that come in and tell us how awesome they are, that is usually because their self-esteem is so low they need to puff themselves up somehow. Looking good in the eyes of others means a lot to them. They lie, fabricate, manipulate just so they can pretend they are better than others.
Still, I have kept going back because every once in a while, there is someone who really wants real recovery and a better life. I cannot be the judge of who that is, because even the manipulating selfish ones sometimes make a complete turn around and get better. They finally heard our message, worked the steps and had a spiritual awakening that they can change and live better. You never know, and for that reason, and because it is part of my own ongoing recovery to stay clean, I keep on going. But even knowing all that, at times, I still get tired of it. I lose interest and desire and get disillusioned
But because of my insurance policy, that’s what I call tending to my recovery by going to meetings, calling my sponsor, working the steps and program, sponsoring and helping others and being of service, not to mention, lots of prayer and writing. I also like to attend events and out of town meetings which usually always give my program a boost. I know what to do when these down times hit me. When I am feeling like quitting, I realize that I need to call someone, go to a meeting, work a step. Because I do not want to ever go back to what I was and I am too old to put up with that nonsense now. It’s a lot of work to stay high and find ways and means to get more.
So, with all that said, I took a friend with me and we went to LA, stayed the night in a motel so we could go to a big event celebrating NA’s 73rd birthday. I had secured a table for us to represent our area. It turned out to be just what the doctor ordered. I had so much fun in recovery and heard two awesome speakers that were very inspiring. I found a renewed and fresh passion for the program, my program! I made some new friends and felt the love of the fellowship.
My friend and I talked about that on the way home, we were both lifted up and inspired. Turns out, I still care. The first speaker had me crying. My heart felt his pain. That’s a good thing. Empathy is very important in this program and lately I have been more like “whatever” than empathic around here. The fact is, I do care about people, yet I’m just knowing that I can’t fix anyone and I don’t relate to everyone. And truth be told, I’ve heard it all before, even their faces tend to look alike at times.
I will continue to call my sponsor, work my steps, sponsor my ladies, be of service behind the scenes, I like working the web. And reaching out to old timers and people who have been where I’ve been and can give me their experience, strength and hope. A little guidance from time to time is good. I do daily meditations with my husband, read my bible and try to practice my faith to the best of my ability. I’m of service at a morning zoom meeting and my favorite meeting of the week is a zoom meeting on Thursday night. That’s where I get to hear and see a lot of old timers, like the one I called, and know that I am not alone. It is so encouraging for me to see people with more time than me still participating in recovery.
So, I did find my inspiration again yesterday, but my intent is to take Alex’s advice, which is balance, back off from meetings and service, which I am doing already, and know that there are many paths to a life well lived in recovery.
Question of the Week: What do you do when you want to quit?
