Enough!
This particular topic has pretty much been on my mind for a few weeks off and on. It won’t go away, so you know what that means?! Let’s write about it and see what’s up. I do have a list of things I think about enough being enough. Like work, food, exercise, giving, wishing for stuff, putting up with stuff, planning, tolerating, grieving, crying, using drugs and drinking? Oh wait, there’s more.
When is complaining about it all enough complaining? Or hoping and trying, of waiting for things to change? When is cleaning and cooking enough? When is obsessing about things I cannot change enough? Or how about putting up with BS or manipulators? When is going to recovery meetings enough or being of service to the program or church or community organizations?
What about this heat wave, I mean really, enough is a enough! How about traveling, or waiting for me to get off my ass and finish my book? It tears me up that I don’t make enough time to write, I waste too much time in a day. When will beating myself up be enough? And here’s the biggy, when will I ever be good enough? It seems most of the time that my best is just not good enough.
Good enough for what you may ask, well so do I. Do you? Have you ever asked yourself if you are good enough at your job? Your marriage and relationships? Parenting? Sponsoring? Serving? Giving? Did I give enough? Did I do it right? Am I a good enough friend to my friends? A good enough sponsor to my sponsees? Did I do enough for my kids and grandkids? Do I take good enough care of my husband? Is my house clean enough? Is my cooking good enough? Do I love enough?
Oh man, this is wearing me out, this list could go on and on, but as I sit here and think of all the things (and there’s more) that I could be doing better, all kinds of things pop up in my mind. It’s a barrage of issues and ideas. And for me, it’s nothing new, I’ve often asked myself about many of these through the years. It’s not that I dwell on this constantly, well yes, my house and organizing my stuff in my house. And my writing, these are daily concerns for me. But the rest has been from time to time as things come up.
So, as always, I want to live in the solution and came up with the same ol bottom line I always come up with, “Let go and let God”. Trust God and do the best I can each day and in each situation. Praying for the willingness to clean and organize my house, get on my treadmill, write, pray and meditate.
Whereas I do believe I have been of service plenty in my clean time and even in church at times, I have learned to step back and let others take the reins. So yes, I suppose I’ve done my fair share and then some. But was it good enough when I did it? Is my book good enough? My house? Actually, I’m not sure, but when I ask myself, have I done the best I can? The answer is, I don’t know really. I mean, I try, I care, but I get fed up and tired. So maybe it’s not the best I can do all the time, but it is nevertheless what I have done and am doing.
For my own little issues here, my solutions are to write and exercise daily, pray, vote, pace myself and do what I can, when I can, as God leads me. And to not worry about it all, give all my kids, family and sponsees to Him, let go and let Him handle things, because guess what? He is gonna take care of it all anyway and I am still powerless over people, places and things. LOL,
It even makes me laugh to think I might have thought I had some kind of control. Lol. I love letting go and letting God, it frees me to do the things right in front of me and let the rest go. Living happy, joyous and free. Especially free of the worry that I’m not good enough. I’ve adopted a new attitude lately where, when I walk in a room in my house and think “I need to clean in here”, I now tell myself, “Naw, it’s good enough”. Lol, I mean, I’ll take care of certain, daily things or whatever, but I like my new motto.
How on earth does a person ever become “good enough” anyway? I do love the fact that scripture says there is nothing I can do to make it to heaven. Not by my own selfish ambitions, but only by the grace of God. Only by faith, not works, I can’t buy my way to heaven, manipulate my way, coerce my way, work my way in. And I cannot beg, borrow or plead my way in, just simply believe on Jesus as the son of God that has already come and paid the price for me. (Ephesians 2:8-9). Wow! How amazing is that? What a gift.
He also said in 2 Corinthians12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” And there’s the power in our first step; there is indeed power in powerlessness. Not only that, but He also tells us that I (we) am valued deeply, I am His handiwork, created for a purpose. And if He gives me a purpose, my step eleven tells me He will give me the power to carry it out. Ephesians 2:10. Am I good enough? No! But He is.
Question of the Week: Are you good enough?
