Blog for March 18th, 2024
Shtick
Shtick: Yiddish slang word “usually comic or repetitious performance or routine.” “Your shtick is the particular gimmick or act you like to perform.”
You’re probably thinking, “what on earth does shtick have to do with recovery?” Well, after giving it some thought, due to spending time with my son last night, I have come to see that many people, not just comedians and actors, have a shtick, many people do, we all have our routines, especially addicts!
Last night we were at our daughter’s house celebrating her birthday and happily, her brother came too. We had a very nice time. He seems to be clean and doing fairly well for the time being. He is always the life of the party; he is a lot fun and pretty jolly when he is clean. But it seems every time he gets a chance, he makes a dig about me not loving him as much as I do his sister. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth, I love him dearly. He’s my first born, my only son and he means the world to me. I would die for him.
So, I was journaling this morning, thinking about some of his comments last night. He tries to slough it off with humor, but he’s been doing it for so many years and just can’t stop or won’t stop. I’ve told him in the past that a good fourth step and counseling would help him resolve his issues with me, but of course, he hasn’t done that. Actually, he seems to enjoy it, he gets a kick out of putting me down in such a nice, funny way. But it’s not funny to me.
While I was writing this morning the word “shtick” came to my mind, I wrote, “it’s just his shtick.” And it is. But I got to thinking about how a lot of people have a shtick. Like manipulations, controlling, workaholic, acting as if they like people that they don’t, just to get their way. There’s a long list of the routines people have down pat that they use on people for various reasons.
Some people’s shtick is to be kind, giving and loving. To “give it away” as we say in the program. To help others. To “carry the message” to others who need to hear it. And different people have different ways of doing that. Some are straightforward, some are shy, some just live by example. Some give money or buy things for the group or people, that’s their shtick.
I’m not sure where I actually picked it up, but I often use the word “bailiwick”. Which has much the same meaning as shtick. Especially in the context that I am discussing here. Meaning, “it’s my thing, it’s my groove, my modus operandi, aka “M.O.”” I think you get the picture.
So back to my son, always calling attention to what kind of a mother I was in my addiction, and I guess, beyond. He is stuck there, in his shtick. Without real recovery or healing a person will stay stuck in their past. The past of pain, confusion and heartache.
I say thank God for recovery, for the steps, for healing and for moving past those old ways and learning a new shtick, learning to be and share love and recovery with others. Letting go of past pains and hurts, giving them to God and moving on. Learning not to take up every fight I’m invited to and learning where to set my boundaries, first with my son and then with everyone else. What freedom, what a relief. I think I’m just gonna stick to my new shtick and refine it!
Question of the Week: Do you have a Shtick? It may have developed in self defense and preservation, but it’s time to let it go and find a new shtick.
