Blog for May 11th, 2026
Mothers and their Day
Happy Mother’s Day ya’ll, as I write this it is still Mother’s Day here. I must say, I did ride a bit of an emotional roller coaster today. I had a date with my daughter for brunch at the Inn in her local community. A nice place, a nice time. I was feeling sad and emotional because my son was in the area and had no plans to see me. But lo and behold, he surprised me and showed up at the brunch. Then my sadness went away. I wonder if my kids know how much it means to me to see them and spend time with them. Not just on holidays and occasions, but throughout the year. I love them so much and if truth be told, they are the reason I got clean. I guess you could say I owe them my life!
Because honestly, I did not want to get clean for me, I could have cared less what happened to me, were it not for them, and caring what they needed and wanted, I would not have even attempted recovery. I think I just answered a question I have had in my mind since the meeting last night. Our good, dear friend, relapsed, again. It doesn’t just break my heart, it “hurts” my heart. My husband and I have poured all the recovery we could into him. But he keeps relapsing. I asked myself why ever since he took a newcomer chip last night. And as I write this, I realize, he’s never had anything that meant a whole lot to him to stay clean for. Obviously, his own life doesn’t matter that much to him. Just like I said already, if not for my kids, I would not have even tried.
He is a good person, a great person, but I think he is a sad person. His parents passed away a long time ago; he’s never married and does not have any kids. His two siblings love and care about him, but they are far from him, and he barely communicates with them, especially when he’s using. That can’t be true for everybody, I know other men and women who are single and childless that have stayed clean, but yet, I think there is something to that.
Also, we have women in recovery who lost their children due to their addiction. Their kids were taken away from them and put in foster care. For some, they are able to get them back, but not all of them get their children back. So, Mother’s Day is a very difficult time for them as well. I am so grateful that my kids are still in my life and besides my son’s times of using so hard and not communicating with me, I have kept them close as I could, all things considered: Like work schedules, raising their own kids and maintaining relationships with spouses and others.
Mother’s Day, just like Father’s Day was meant to be joyful and celebrated, but that’s not always the case is it. For many, it is a painful time, remembrance of childhood abuse and abandonment. That happened to me a few times. However, I do not wallow in the pain of it, thanks to the twelve steps of recovery and my God, I have been able to find forgiveness and let it go. As I told my family today, my mom was pretty awesome and I know she loved me, she tried her best. She too was a hurting person trying to deal with her own heartaches and pains. I gave her to God and let the healing begin, on us both. She was a strong and beautiful woman. I am grateful for the mother I had. I’m afraid any other mother would have been too boring for me, lol. God granted me forgiveness and compassion for my mom.
My husband and I have been earnestly praying for, my sponsee who’s son died in her home last November and she is having a very hard time with losing him. And for my niece whose son overdosed on fentanyl last year and she too is in so much emotional pain and for my sister-in-law whose son died last month, pretty much, all of a sudden, also in her home. This is her second son to die in the last couple of years. I know this cannot be an easy day for any of them; they are all very near and dear to our hearts and so we pray for them about twice a day.
Again, I get grateful that I still have my kids in my life, especially my son, who was constantly living on the edge when he was using. I am so very grateful, you don’t even know, but I do not take it for granted. We have lost two of my step-kids. My husband’s oldest child, a girl, well, woman, with pancreatic cancer. And a stepson of his, a boy he helped raise into his teens. Rich had a heart attack at work which seemed to be due to years of heavy drug use. He was too young to die like that.
The truth is, Mother’s Day isn’t just about this one day of the year, of course not, it’s about every single day of life and how we respond to our children’s lives and their mental, physical and spiritual needs. They need our guidance and love, nurturing, help, and advice. They need good examples, every day, not just once in a while. I could not provide all that to my kids when I was using. Most of us can’t.
Then there’s the women, mothers, people who take in the neighbor kid, the niece or nephew, the strays. They become the mothers these kids desperately need. I’ve seen this up close and personal a few times. My cousin did that, my husband’s ex did that too. Lots of people do. It is selfless and amazing. Which is what is at the core of being a true “mom”.
I’m sure you can find poems and sonnets a plenty about mothers and how dear they are to their children and actually, the world at large, as the old saying goes, “the hand that rocks the cradle, controls the world”. Woe, that’s heavy huh, but so true. Think about it.
No matter your situation this Mother’s Day I hope it was blessed and sweet in whatever ways it could be. I am so grateful that mine was today, thank you Lord.
Question of the Week: How was your Mother’s Day?
